


Jagged Edges

by Tiredoflife77



Series: Bonds are Stronger than the Imperfections that Shatter [1]
Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Bad management, But also quite a bit of angst, Fluff and Angst, I'll add stuff as I go, I'm writing them as platonic tho, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung & Lee Taeyong Are Best Friends, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung-centric, Lee Taeyong Needs a Hug, Lee Taeyong-centric, Moon Taeil needs a hug, Not Beta Read, OT9 - Freeform, Other, Platonic Relationships, Poor Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Protective Hyungs, Protective Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Protective Lee Taeyong, References to Depression, SO MUCH FLUFF, Scared Huang Ren Jun, Scared Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Suh Youngho | Johnny is a Good Brother, but can be seen as otherwise, but what else is new, doyoung is a mom, fluffier than it sounds, it gets a lil dark, sasaeng fans, scared Lee Taeyong, seriously he stressed, sm lowkey sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24007867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiredoflife77/pseuds/Tiredoflife77
Summary: “Did you really think you’d hold?” The mirror asked.Doyoung just watched as his reflection cracked into a million pieces.Or...In which Johnny and Taeil struggle to control things with Taeyong overseas, someone might be out to get Doyoung, and Taeyong and Mark are just trying to figure out what the hell is happening while they're away.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Everyone, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Everyone, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo (NCT)/Everyone, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Everyone, Lee Taeyong/Everyone, Mark Lee (NCT)/Everyone, Moon Taeil/Everyone, Nakamoto Yuta/Everyone, Suh Youngho | Johnny/Everyone
Series: Bonds are Stronger than the Imperfections that Shatter [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1763164
Comments: 76
Kudos: 375





	1. Glass

**Author's Note:**

> Sharp, edges jagged, with no soft lines or calming colors, the grey, metallic object stared at him through a spherical lens. The gun lying a mere foot away from him along with its wielder seemed surreal, though the fact that he was alive was even more bewildering to the shaking boy.
> 
> Sharp.
> 
> Jagged.
> 
> Why did everything have to feel like a knife? Somehow, the universe always had a way of making him bleed.

Sharp, edges jagged, with no soft lines or calming colors, the metallic object stared at him through a spherical lens. The gun lying a mere foot away from him along with its wielder seemed surreal, though the fact that he was alive was even more bewildering to the shaking boy.

Sharp.

Jagged.

Why did everything have to feel like a knife? Somehow, the universe always had a way of making him bleed. 

Lost in his own trauma, he flinched away as arms frantically wrapped around him, enclosing him from reality, though the boy wasn’t sure what reality he was in, or if it was even real at all.

“Calm down!”

“Please- “

“Trying…Help!”

“Taeyong- “

Vaguely, the boy recognized his leader’s voice, and in all his spasming, the adrenaline he had deflated, and he slumped in his hyung’s hold. His hyung felt soft, there was no prickling sensation on his skin any longer. The jagged edges he felt were gone, and for once, the boy felt _nice._ Ah, this was why he liked Taeyong’s hugs, his leader was always smooth, never rough, never _sharp._ The warmth lulled his eyes closed.

“Goodnight.”

************

Thinking back on it now, Doyoung really should’ve seen this coming. Things were going well, perfect even. Their comeback came with even more success and left a feeling of accomplishment within all of them. Doyoung had never really felt as satisfied with himself as he did in that moment, and, looking at each of his member’s eyes he could tell they felt the same. Of course, feeling any emotion other than stress for a whole two months was apparently illegal. Time had to fly by and take the happiness with it as it passed. It dropped them in the middle of September, or, as Johnny liked to describe it, the beginning of hell.

Now, a crisp December chill embodied him, and he looked up at the night sky.

The city lights of Seoul blocked his view of the stars, but the knowledge that they were still there, still burning, gave him some relief. Doyoung enjoyed this precious time he got alone. He loved his members, but with everything that happened, they had been treating him like glass. Sure, Taeyong liked to joke that he was made of glass, but the man never viewed him with this fragility the others liked to believe he possessed nowadays. Though, Doyoung couldn’t blame them. If it were anyone else in his group, he’d be doing the same, possibly even worse.

Deciding to finally check his phone, Doyoung pulled it out of his pocket and turned it on, not surprised to see the hundreds of calls and texts adjourning the screen. He sighed, looking at the sky once more, before the door to the roof opened with a frantic push.

In any other situation, Doyoung would’ve laughed at Taeyong’s frazzled state, but the worried glint in his eyes told him now was probably not the time. Upon seeing him, Taeyong breathed a deep sigh of relief, and strode over to where Doyoung sat in the middle of the roof of their dorm.

Plopping down next to him, Taeyong shivered.

“Doie, what are you doing out here?” Doyoung just shrugged. “You don’t even have a coat! Do you know how cold it is, if you get si-”

Slightly annoyed, Doyoung covered Taeyong’s mouth before he could nag him more.

“I swear,” Taeyong murmured in defeat.

If this were to happen in August, Taeyong wouldn’t have let Doyoung have his way. In fact, Doyoung would probably be the one nagging him. If this were the beginning of September, they would’ve bickered like they always had. But it’s December, and Doyoung was suddenly very, very breakable.

Taeyong noticed the awkward silence between them and wrapped an arm around Doyoung.

“I know there’s something on your mind, Doie,” Doyoung looked away, but leaned into the welcoming warmth, “you can tell me. It’s just me, just Yongie and Doie.”

Doyoung took in his leader, look of sincerity glowing in the moonlight. Both of their relationships with the other members had always been good, but Doyoung and Taeyong were the closest to each other, enough so that the rest of the group acknowledged them as “best friends.” All in all, Doyoung had to agree. If he had a best friend, it would be Taeyong, and he knew Taeyong felt the same. Ten years had worked its magic upon the two, and Doyoung would trust Taeyong with his life, even more so now.

“I’m not glass, hyung.” Grabbing Taeyong’s hand, Doyoung put it on his cheek, flustering the other. “See, feel. It’s skin. Flesh. Not glass.”

Though said with finality, Doyoung didn’t know if he was trying to convince himself or his hyung.

“I know. I’m sorry, but we just need time.”

Doyoung shivered, he didn’t like time, but he knew Taeyong was right.

“Let’s go in, the others are probably freaking out.”

Doyoung grimaced, glass holding nothing but guilt.

“Yuta won’t let go of Mark until you go back in,” Taeyong said, wanting to wipe the shame off of his dongsaengs face.

Doyoung chuckled. “He never let’s go of Mark anyway.” Taeyong smiled back.

“Regardless, I think it’s time we talked.”

He paused, choosing his words carefully.

“You are glass, Doie, but that doesn’t make you breakable. You’re still here, because you are strong.”

Recounting the events that had taken place within the last three months, Doyoung didn’t have the urge to argue, and just stood in agreement.

************

_Three months prior, September 18, 2020._

“You’re going to do great, hyung!” Donghyuck excitedly skipped next to Taeyong, helping the leader and Mark with their suitcases. Or, by Doyoung’s definition, annoying everyone and watching his hyungs do all the work.

“Yah, Hyuck! Grab one of these at least!”

Donghyuck giggled upon seeing Doyoung struggle with one of the bigger suitcases before eventually grabbing it and, with ease, placing it in the car, all the while sneering at Doyoung.

“It’s not my fault I’m weak,” Doyoung automatically felt the need to defend himself, knowing how relentless his dongsaeng could be. “And it’s not my fault you make me look strong, hyung.”

Donghyuck had a very unique way of testing his patience, but Doyoung still loved the boy. So much so, that in the moment, he felt the intense need to strangle said brat. And he did. Or tried too, he didn’t get very far before Johnny and Yuta appeared. Like the normal turn of events, they ganged up against Doyoung and ended up tackling him, spurred on by the cheering from Jungwoo.

All brats, the lot of them.

Watching the scene from afar, Taeil and Taeyong started laughing. The sight was something they all had seen before but never failed to make them laugh. Though they may not have started out so close, Taeyong loved his members. Seeing them act like family made his day a little brighter, but also made leaving that much harder. His smile grew brighter at the sound of Jungwoo’s laughter.

“That’s the last of them, hyung,” Jaehyun stated as he closed the trunk of the car. Taeyong nodded in thanks, and watched as the driver signaled him, the sign that it was time for goodbyes. Taeil put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a knowing look.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of each other, we always have. Just focus on SuperM and yourself, okay?” Taeyong just answered with another grimace and moved to hug his hyung. He let go when he heard squealing, giggling yet again when he peered at Donghyuck clinging to Mark, the latter trying to push off the maknae, but failing to do so.

“You know he’s going to cling to you now hyung,” Taeyong stated, laughing at the look on Taeil’s face.

“Hyung will be fine, you know he secretly enjoys it,” Jaehyun said, wrapping an arm around Taeil and poking his cheek.

After hugging the rest of the members goodbye, Taeyong and Mark finally hopped in the car. Mark rolled down the window, yelling goodbye, and laughing at the way Donghyuck and Jungwoo had trapped Doyoung in between them. Taeyong whipped out his phone and took a picture of his dongsaeng’s suffering as a memento.

Despite having to leave, Taeyong was content, watching and waving as their groups faces grew further and further away.

“I’m excited to be going to the US again, but I already miss them hyung,” Mark admitted as he closed the car window, laying his head on Taeyong’s shoulder. Taeyong nodded in agreement while taking out his air pods and giving one to Mark.

The two sat in silence as they each recessed to their own thoughts, Taeyong smiling at the new home screen of his phone, the same picture he just took. Despite his “suffering” Doyoung was smiling brightly as Jungwoo and Donghyuck were laughing at their hyung, the rest of the members all giggling in blurry positions due to the untimeliness of the taken photo. Taeyong knew he loved the photo already, the happiness shining through each of his members made him feel bright.

These next two months without his members were going to be long, but it would be okay.

“Hyung?” Taeyong was shaken out of his thoughts as he looked at his dongsaeng.

“I really don’t understand why you bought air pods,” Mark pouted, “they never even stay in my ear.”

Take that back, these next two months were going to feel like centuries if Mark said one more thing about apple being a rip off. Taeyong glanced at the photo one more time before locking his phone and drifting off to sleep, dreaming of soft smiles and warmth.

************

It was 3 am, and everyone was watching some horror movie Johnny suggested, popcorn hiding in the cracks of the furniture.

Doyoung was barely awake, drifting off with the weight of Donghyuck taking over his lap, already asleep. Yuta was sat on the sofa playing on his phone, head on Taeil’s shoulder. Taeil in turn was drooling on Jaehyun’s shoulder in his slumber. The younger glanced down and made a face of disgust, trying to twist out of the pile of limbs on the couch. In the process, he almost woke Jungwoo, who had fallen asleep on the end of the sofa.

Johnny’s phone pinged, and the members that were awake jumped up.

“Is it from Taeyong hyung?” Jaehyun tried to look at the contact before Johnny swiped the phone from him.

“Yep, says he and Mark have just landed.”

Doyoung perked up at this. “That’s good.”

Just then, Johnny’s phone pinged again.

“Tell Doyoungie that if he stays up any later, he’s going to mess up practice tomorrow.”

Doyoung shoved Donghyuck of his lap and held out a hand for the phone, Yuta laughing at the utter misery on Donghyuck’s face at being pushed to the floor.

“What did you tell him?” Johnny questioned as Doyoung hand him the phone back. Doyoung just shrugged, but a playful look remained on his face. Johnny just rolled his eyes; sometimes his dongsaengs were too much for even him.

“Alright, everyone, time for bed,” He called, roughly shaking Taeil awake.

After bidding the others goodnight and watching as Yuta, Jungwoo, Taeil, and Jaehyun left to go to their floor, Doyoung had half the mind to sleep right there on the carpet. Johnny tsked and dragged Doyoung in the direction of his room.

“Taeyong was right, this bunny does need sleep.”

He couldn’t stop the fond smile as he watched Doyoung’s eyes open wider. The younger glared at him, before trudging off, thankfully choosing to sleep in an actual bed rather than the floor. Johnny turned off the TV and the lights, laughing to himself at how, in his sleep deprived state, Doyoung had made himself look even more like a bunny.

Groggily walking into his room, Doyoung rubbed at his eyes as he moved to charge his (dead) phone. It spurred to life, and in the five minutes he took to brush his teeth and wash his face, it was at 5%. He set his alarm, turned off the lamp, and closed his eyes. He tried to dream about warmth, but he couldn’t get past the chill in his spine, instead dreaming of sharp, jagged edges. In his sleepy state, he ignored the vibration of his phone, assuming it was either Taeyong or Mark and deciding he could answer them in the morning.

**From: XXX-XXX-XXXX**

**Watch yourself, Kim Doyoung**

**My gun is just waiting to shoot**

Doyoung was sharp, rough around the edges. He was jagged, and breakable, and weak. At one point in his life, he wondered why he couldn’t be like Taeyong or Johnny, why he couldn’t sing like Taeil, how he couldn’t be as free as Haechan, Mark, or Jungwoo, why he didn’t look like Jaehyun.

Sure, his confidence has grown, and his singing has blossomed. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all, if he was as successful as everyone said. But Doyoung had never felt _smooth,_ he’d never thought of himself as _warm._

_If only Doyoung didn’t feel like glass._


	2. September Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up at 7:30 for practice after going to bed at 3 am was never a smart move, Doyoung had to admit. It seems Taeyong, for all his teasing, was definitely right about practice being a disaster, considering Doyoung had to literally roll off of his bed to get himself up. Too bad the stupid alarm wouldn’t shut off. When he finally turned it off, his phone vibrated, and he groaned. 
> 
> 7:30 was too early to deal with social interaction.

Waking up at 7:30 for practice after going to bed at 3 am was never a smart move, Doyoung had to admit. It seems Taeyong, for all his teasing, was definitely right about practice being a disaster, considering Doyoung had to literally roll off of his bed to get himself up. Too bad the stupid alarm wouldn’t shut off. When he finally turned it off, his phone vibrated, and he groaned.

7:30 was too early to deal with social interaction.

Rubbing the blurriness out of his eyes, he glanced down at the text notification, and immediately frowned. There were 84 new notifications, all text messages from the same number. Doyoung hurriedly unlocked his phone, and jumped while letting out a small yelp, throwing the phone. Startling more by the sound of footsteps, Doyoung barely managed to compose himself before the door was swung open with a bit more force than necessary. Expecting to see Johnny, he was surprised to see Haechan standing in the hallway with an unnaturally concerned expression.

“Are you okay, hyung? I heard you scream. And a loud noise.” Glancing over at Doyoung’s startled state, Haechan frowned even deeper. His hyung looked too pale for his liking.

“Um, well-” He was interrupted by a call down the hall from Johnny, telling them to “hurry up primadonnas, the car’s gonna be here by 8:15.” Color slowly coming back to his cheeks, Doyoung waved Haechan off.

“Thought I saw a spider, sorry.”

The maknae just nodded, though never dropped the suspicious gaze as he finally turned away. Doyoung watched him retreat, wishing he had more courage.

He wishes he wasn’t _cold._

Reaching slowly for his discarded phone, Doyoung held back another scream as he looked at the message that caught his eye. It was an edit of a photo of him and Taeyong, the two taking a selfie for SNS. The startling part of it was that his face had been completely edited over with a giant x.

Doyoung figured that if he wasn’t awake a few minutes ago, he certainly was now.

************

The scream and the loud thump weren’t what caused Haechan to be worried. It was Doyoung’s eyes. There was fear in his eyes, and Haechan couldn’t unsee it. Even now, Doyoung embodied fear.

Sharp, cold fear crystalized within a small glass case.

Haechan didn’t know if it was an illusion from this morning, or if his hyung seemed to be slightly trembling. One thing was for sure. Doyoung was definitely acting strange, if the lack of sass was anything to go by.

On the ride to the practice building, Haechan stared out the window, chancing glances at his hyung when he hoped no one was looking. Doyoung looked unnaturally pale, and his hands shook constantly. The look on his hyung’s face was enough to make the maknae at least a little concerned, but his composure was too anxious for Haechan to not keep an eye on him. Normally, Haechan would tease the older boy. He was known for being quite a brat, and he knew it. His hyungs had all gained a soft spot for the maknae and his stubborn antics, and he loved them in return. The boy knew he’d be damned if anything ever happened to them.

Which is why Haechan was currently starring daggers into Doyoung. If the elder noticed, he never acknowledged it, preferring to stare down at his phone, which was clearly turned off.

Every few seconds, he noticed his hyung’s hands shake slightly, and while deciding whether or not to say something, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Yuta wasn’t looking at him, seemingly immersed in whatever he was reading on his phone, but the twitch of his eyebrow made it clear Haechan wasn’t the only one who had noticed. Looking around the rest of the vehicle, he could practically feel Jaehyun’s gaze on Doyoung, and Johnny’s and Jungwoo’s worried glances. If Taeil were awake, Haechan was sure he would be quietly watching over his dongsaeng. No one said a word, the tension too thick.

Best to keep silent then, Haechan supposed.

It turns out keeping quiet was a lot harder to do. Doyoung kept stumbling through the steps, and while he wasn’t the best dancer in the world, he was certainly better than whatever the hell was happening today.

After their exasperated choreographer finally called for lunch break, Haechan was unsurprised to see that both he and Yuta had made their way to Doyoung. “Hyung, can we please talk?” Haechan asked as gently as he could, seeing the grimace making its way upon Doyoung’s face. Yuta nudged his sleeve, and Doyoung, with a small nod, allowed himself to be led out of the studio.

Before anyone could speak, Haechan rounded on Doyoung with the familiar relentless behavior. “Spider my ass hyung, what is happening.” Lightly hitting his dongsaeng for his use of language, Yuta frowned at Doyoung as he lowered his head a little.

“Hyung, I’m sorry, but something is clearly wrong. You’re lucky Johnny Hyung or Taeil Hyung haven’t pestered you yet-” Haechan was cut off by the rapid vibrating of Doyoung’s phone.

It took five minutes for it to stop.

Doyoung didn’t even look at his phone, just handed to Yuta with a resigned look. “I’ve blocked the number three times, now.” He said, rubbing his face with his hand, a nervous tick of his. Yuta scrolled vigorously through the now hundreds of messages, face morphing in disgust or fear, Haechan couldn’t tell. He leaned over and was horrified to see the content.

**From: XXX-XXX-XXX**

**Wouldn’t it be better if you disappeared?**

**From: XXX-XXX-XXX**

**Don’t worry, bunny, we’ll be paying you a visit really soon. Better practice your**

**goodbyes now**

Haechan yanked the phone from Yuta when he eyed the pictures. “This is insane!” The younger’s eyes widened comically as he dove deeper into the messages. Yuta just glared at the maknae, giving him a _now’s not the time_ stare. Like the mature adult he was, Haechan stuck his tongue out.

“Doyoungie, how long have you been getting these?” Yuta had no clue what to do, so he stopped questioning the younger when he saw his hands start to shake again. He quickly wrapped his own around them, holding his dongsaeng’s hands tight.

Yuta frowned at how cold Doyoung’s hands were.

“Hyuck, go show those to Johnny hyung.” Haechan nodded, scampering away to find his hyung. Doyoung made to protest but was shushed by Yuta.

“It’s okay Doie, just breathe. We’ll take care of it.” Yuta continued holding Doyoung’s hands, even though they were stable now. “Sorry, hyung.” Yuta shook his head in protest. Doyoung understood, but he still felt guilty. For either lying or stumbling, he didn’t know.

After five minutes had passed, the door to the studio opened, and Taeil appeared, holding Doyoung’s phone. Eyeing the younger’s frazzled state, Taeil let slip a little smile as he approached the two.

“Come on Doie, let’s head back in. Then, Jae and I will go with you to get your number changed later.”

As one could imagine, bargaining with management to let Doyoung leave early to change the number was quite complicated. Johnny practically had to fight the management to let them go, even after showing them the messages.

“Hyung-nim, he’s gotten over two hundred texts messages full of threats and hate.” He could only watch as the manager just shook his head. “These aren’t concrete enough to be a real threat, they’re just hate.” Eventually, after Doyoung’s phone went off for the nine-hundredth time, the manager relented, though his final words just pissed Johnny off more.

_“Grow up, not everyone in the world is going to love you.”_

Pacing around the living room in the dorm, he quietly seethed over the treatment from SM’s so-called professionals. “Grow up, he says.” Yuta rolled his eyes. “Hyung, are we even surprised at this point?” Johnny paused his never ending pacing, and deflated.

“How does Taeyong do it?” He wondered aloud.

“Magic,” Haechan said after the long pause. Yuta smirked in agreement.

“Well, at least they let them go, hyung,” Jungwoo pointed out.

At that statement, Johnny seemed to grow even more angered. Yuta wrapped an arm around him. “There’s no use brooding over it, hyung. You did your best, and you won. They’ll be back soon anyway,” he said as he pulled Johnny down to the sofa with him. “Don’t let Doyoungie see you angry, he’ll get even more stressed and talk your ear off trying to get you to calm down.”

At this Jungwoo gave a short laugh. “Hyung is more mature than you, he always takes care of us when we’re mad.”

The four members sat in silence yet again at that. This was the reason the situation seemed surreal. Their brother definitely was one of the sassiest people on Earth and liked to playfully bicker with all of them. Doyoung was also the nagging sort, watching over the team well. He took care of them when they were sick, comforted them when stressed, and listened to their frustrations. Their hyung had a kind heart, and he had never been the target of this much hate. None of them have really. To say Johnny was worried was an understatement. Hopefully this would all blow over soon.

“Oh hyung, Taeyongie hyung is video calling you,” Jungwoo handed Johnny his phone, to which he answered, not surprised to see the three others practically jump over him to see the leader.

“Hey hyung!” Taeyong was with Mark, and the two were waiving animatedly at the screen. Johnny waved back, feeling the stress from today melt away.

“Where’s Doie?”

So much for the stress going away. Taeyong was going to _flip._

************

Getting the phone number officially changed wasn’t as messy as Taeil would’ve expected. Walking out, Doyoung looked down at his now (thankfully) silent phone.

“If you get another text, a call, anything, let us know.” Noticing the lack of honorifics, Doyoung glared at Jaehyun, who relented. “Let us know, hyung.” Doyoung smirked. “Since you decided to call me hyung, I guess I can agree.”

Truthfully, Doyoung was grateful his members helped; the hate really did throw him off. He had never expected to go through any of that.

Lingering next to the two, Taeil smiled. It seemed as though Doyoung was feeling better if the nagging and bickering was anything to go by. The street was semi crowded, the normal rush of people decorating the sidewalks. The three engaged in conversation, halfway to where their car would pick them up, when Taeil’s phone started ringing. Taeil took it out of his coat pocket, glancing at the _unknown number_ flashing at the top of the screen. He looked at Doyoung and Jaehyun, both who wore serious expressions, contrasting to the lighter atmosphere ten seconds ago.

Rejecting the call, Taeil made to put his phone up, when it obnoxiously started vibrating again, the same unknown caller from before.

“Guess we’re going back to the phone store,” Jaehyun joked, trying to loosen up the tension. Doyoung wacked him over the head with his scarf while Taeil ignored him and answered the call, putting the phone on speaker. He motioned for the other two to lean in close so they could hear. 

“Hello?” A clicking noise. A laugh

“Who is this?” A laugh again. Doyoung shivered as Jaehyun put a protective arm over both him and Taeil.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” The voice was raspy, it was _sharp._

“Actually, we would.” Jaehyun was fed up, this person had the nerve to harass his hyung all day, and now here they were, listening to nothing but a cryptic phone call from the culprit themselves.

Another chuckle. Another click. “How about a hint?” Jaehyun shared a look with the other two. “Go on.” A haughty laugh caused the three to feel even more uneasy.

Jaehyun shook his head in annoyance.

“Look up.”

Tilting his head, Doyoung eyed the building directly in front of them, where something was shining, giving off a glint of metal in the setting sunlight. He strained his eyes, barely able to make out the shape of a dark figure.

There was a pause, then another clicking noise, though this one sounded much more threatening, almost like…

_A gun!_

Doyoung barely had time to register what was happening before Jaehyun had pulled him to the ground, shielding him from whatever had just happened. His ears were ringing, and he could barely hear Taeil shouting, could only just make out the laugh on the phone. He felt like his head was spinning from the reaction of the public; people were screaming and moving away from the looming building.

It was then that he realized that this was real. Someone had just shot at them, someone just shot at him!

_Jaehyun. Taeil hyung._

He started to push against Jaehyun, scared to see blood, to see the hurt, but he never did, because Jaehyun was already moving and pulling Doyoung up. Something metallic, grey, and _sharp_ was glistening by his feet. It was then that Doyoung realized it was a bullet. A bullet from a gun that was aimed at him. He’d never felt so weak in his life as he stared at familiar jagged edges. Jagged edges that reminded him so much of himself.

_Sharp and cold and jagged. Weak. Glass._

“Hyung! You need to snap out of it, we’ve got to go!”

Doyoung’s gaze was ripped from the bullet lying mockingly on the ground as his dongsaeng pulled him and Taeil away, the three running in the opposite direction of the car waiting for them. Doyoung didn’t even notice they had run all the way back to the phone store. After explaining the situation to the clerk and phoning the police and the managers, the three relaxed into their chairs, shaken and dazed.

Jaehyun never let go of Taeil’s or Doyoung’s hands. He was sure they noticed how his own were still trembling.

Taking several deep breaths, Doyoung leaned his head back in his seat. “Jae,” he paused, inhaling, exhaling. “Thank you.” Jaehyun gripped tighter onto his hyung’s hand. “If it wasn’t for you, I think that bullet might have actually hit me.”

The three grimaced. This had really happened. That bullet almost hit Doyoung, it could’ve hit anyone on default. They were in such a public place. Hell, it could’ve hit anyone in the crowd. If this person, whoever they were, was willing to go this far, Jaehyun didn’t even want to think about what else they could do.

“We almost died.” Taeil blankly stated, staring at the wall full of displayed phones. Doyoung let out a sigh, and leaned his head on Taeil’s shoulder, the older leaning in to wrap his arm around Doyoung. The tension hung heavy around them, silence joining its hold of the air.

“So hyung,” Taeil let out a soft _hmm,_ “Since we’re back at the phone store,” Doyoung animatedly gestured at the phones, “I guess we might as well change your number too.” Taeil, despite himself, let out a laugh. He’d never been more thankful to hear the sassy tone from the younger.

“You never miss a chance to say something stupid, do you hyung.” Doyoung gave his signature gummy smile seeing his brothers laughing, even if it was only for a few minutes. “Says the one who made the dumb joke earlier.”

Jaehyun made a face, “I was just trying to lighten up the mood, hyung.” Doyoung gasped playfully. “Well what do you think I’m trying to do?”

Taeil fondly listened to their bickering, glad to be able to hear Doyoung’s voice. The two fighting in the middle of a phone store reminded him of Taeyong. Their leader’s friendship with Doyoung was often playful, and never failed to bring something bright to the environment. Speaking of Taeyong, Taeil could only imagine how badly he and Mark would react upon hearing the recent turn of events. If the outcome were different, well, Taeil really didn’t want to think about it.

“What would we do without you, Doie?” He asked, grinning a bit when Doyoung shrugged casually.

“Cry, probably.”

Jaehyun gave the other a light smack. “I’d be sad without you, hyung, that’s for sure.”

Doyoung nodded, a serious expression taking over his features. “It’s the same for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you all.” Slightly embarrassed, Doyoung looked down at his lap.

Jaehyun couldn’t resist, playful glint shining in his tired eyes.

“You’d throw a fit.”

It took three seconds, even after a traumatizing event, for Doyoung to tackle Jaehyun in the middle of a phone store.

************

“He, what!” Taeyong all but screeched through the facetime call, horrified at the thought of his dongsaeng waking up to a device full of hate. “Doyoungie doesn’t deserve this, is he okay? Do I need to come home?”

Johnny shushed him. “No, Yongie. You and Mark have a job to do, you can’t just leave. As much as I hate this situation, we can’t just stop our lives.” Taeyong groaned in frustration while Mark pat him on the back.

“Where is hyung?” It was Johnny’s turn to groan, leaning into Yuta’s side. “Getting his phone number changed with Taeil hyung and Jaehyun,” He sat up straighter. “I had to _fight_ management just to let them go. Even after I showed them the messages, they were set on keeping them in practice.”

Taeyong just stared at Johnny through the screen sadly. “How do you do it? I can barely keep myself from arguing with those fools.” Taeyong and Mark both laughed at the last remark.

“They told me Doyoung should grow up and deal with it.” Johnny puffed, frustration curling in his stomach at the memory. Jungwoo and Haechan stiffened a little at the harsh tone in their hyung’s voice.

“Grow up my ass.” Jungwoo looked up, surprised at Taeyong’s blunt statement, then once again the room laughed. “Honestly, they should try living in our shoes for once,” Mark said, fiddling with his hoodie strings. There were several cheers in agreement.

After about two hours, the boys decided to finally hang up. Taeyong wanted to wait for Doyoung, but he and Mark had a schedule to get to, while Johnny’s phone was in danger of dying. Taeyong told Johnny to tell the missing members to text him and Mark before they went to sleep, at least. If they were busy, then they’d see the messages later. Plus, Doyoung had a new phone number now.

Johnny promised he’d tell Doyoung to call them, and he bid them good luck as they bid their team goodnight.

************

Just arriving home from a day full of training, Renjun staggered into his dorm, Jaemin clinging onto him. He plopped the both of them down right there, on the floor, in the middle of the common area. Jeno, sensing his chance, jumped on top of the two. Jisung just shook his head and took a picture of the mess on the floor, sending it to Chenle.

“Yah, Injunnie, do you have any idea what time it is?” Jaemin questioned as Renjun reached for the remote. Renjun puffed out his cheeks. “I just want some background noise, chill.”

Jeno scoffed. “Background noise for what?”

“Let me watch TV!” Renjun was just barely able to get the TV turned on before Jisung dove for the remote. Jeno exploded in a fit of laughter.

“-Member of NCT targeted by threats, shot at around-” Jaemin rushed to Jisung with a startled yell, snatching the remote from the maknae and turning up the volume. Jeno and Renjun stopped in the middle of their argument, joining the stunned members. “No way,” Renjun breathed out.

“Earlier today, we’ve been informed of reports of a gunshot, which according to police, aimed at one of the three members present from boy group NCT. Kim Dongyoung, better known by his stage name Doyoung, had previously been the target of a series of hate texts and spam this morning. After getting his number changed with members Moon Taeil, and Jung Yoonoh, it was then that the trio was shot at. The culprit remains unknown, though po-” The TV turned off, Jaemin looking rather pale as he held a finger on the power button on the remote.

“I’m calling hyung.” Jeno flipped his phone out, dialing Jaehyun’s number, frowning when he got no answer. He dialed again, worryingly gnawing at his lip. Dropping the remote, Jaemin put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Whipping out his own phone, Renjun pulled up Johnny’s contact, thankful to whatever gods were watching as his hyung’s tired voice answered.

“Hello?”

“Hyung, oh my god, what is happening. Where’s Doyoung Hyung?”

“What? Is something wrong Renj- “

“Turn on the news hyung, it’s bad.”

************   
  


The members of NCT 127 sat in shock as they listened to the monotone voice of the reporter.

“I’ll call you back as soon as they get here, ok? Don’t worry, Injunnie. Yeah. Bye.” Johnny took a shaky breath. The moment Renjun had told him to turn on the news, terror instantly seized his stomach. He should’ve been there with them.

Drowning in what if’s and worry, Johnny almost didn’t notice the door unlocking.

As soon as the dorm door opened, he jumped up, barely outrunning Yuta. Doyoung made half an inch progress through the door with Jaehyun and Taeil directly behind him before Johnny had somehow managed to throw his arms over the three of them. Eventually making it inside, the other three approached, following in similar suite. Haechan nearly knocked Taeil over from the force of jumping on him while Jaehyun continued to be squeezed to death by Johnny.

Doyoung gave them all a knowing look as Yuta and Jungwoo both latched themselves onto him with fervor. Not that he minded, this was exactly what he needed.

The group slowly but surely waddled to the common area, shuffling on the floor so they could huddle together. Jungwoo still hadn’t let go of Doyoung.

“What happened? We turned on the news to see the headline saying you’d been _shot at!”_ Taeil, with his head on Johnny’s leg, patted the younger’s thigh. “It happened so fast, but we’re okay.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Jungwoo squeezed Doyoung tighter.

Johnny glanced at the digital clock next to the TV stand and frowned at the time. “Renjun said they tried calling you and couldn’t get a hold of you. They were the ones who told us to look at the news.” Doyoung looked up at Johnny at the information. “News?” Johnny just waved the question away.

“You better call them soon.” Doyoung leaned onto Yuta and nodded into his shoulder. Yuta began stroking his hair in a comforting manner.

“That explains the missed calls from Jeno,” Jaehyun remarked, just now noticing his call history.

Taeil stood up. “How about dinner? We can fill everyone in on the details after we eat. We’ve all had a long day, and Doyoungie looks like he’s going to pass out on the spot.” Doyoung just whined into Yuta’s shoulder, the older chuckling fondly.

Jungwoo sighed happily. “Food solves all problems hyung. Let’s eat!”

“No one eats as much as you, Jungwoo.”

************

Later that night, after he had called a concerned Jeno and gave the dreamies his new number, Doyoung climbed into his bed. He tossed and turned but could not get comfortable. Even with all his blankets, he was still _cold._

_Why was he always so cold?_

Giving up, Doyoung stared at his phone. The device was silent, but its black screen stared at him as if it was waiting for the perfect opportunity to light up. Looking at it, Doyoung realized he hadn’t talked to Taeyong all day, and that he should probably call him at some point tomorrow. If the older hadn’t heard what happened yet, he certainly would tomorrow, Doyoung was sure. 

Thinking of Taeyong, Doyoung shivered. He suddenly missed his hyung. Taeyong was always warm when Doyoung was cold, and Doyoung was freezing. Frustrated, Doyoung wrapped a blanket around himself and abandoned his phone on the plain nightstand by his bed. He didn’t even realize his feet were moving until he ended up in front of Taeyong’s room, door shut.

Too desperate for sleep to care, Doyoung opened the door and shuffled into Taeyong’s bed, almost crying at the familiar smell of his leader in the sheets. Tucking himself in the warmth of the duvet, Doyoung sighed happily in his tired state.

He was still cold, but he could feel the familiar warmth seeping into his bones. Sleep came to him with ease.

_He still dreamed of sharp lines and metallic edges._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	3. September Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doyoung woke feeling cold, but contempt. Wrapped in Taeyong’s blankets, he snuggled further into the bed. SM had given the members two days off to “rest,” but Doyoung suspects it’s more so that management could deal with the situation. That was fine by him. He never wanted to leave this bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last update until next week, so I hope you all enjoy. I planned on posting this chapter next Tuesday but I got done editing it much faster than I thought I would, so here it is...

Doyoung woke feeling cold, but contempt. Wrapped in Taeyong’s blankets, he snuggled further into the bed. SM had given the members two days off to “rest,” but Doyoung suspects it’s more so that management could deal with the situation. That was fine by him. He never wanted to leave this bed.

“Hyung, he looks so cute like this. Like a bunny.”

Doyoung shot up, which was not a smart idea. A headache had already begun blooming. He let out a little dissatisfied cry at the pain and laid back down. Johnny’s amused face came into view as the other figure, who Doyoung could now make out as Haechan, laughed.

“What are you two doing in here?”

“We could say the same to you hyung.” Haechan gave Doyoung a smug look as he unlocked his phone. “Wonder what Taeyongie Hyung will think of this pic.” He said as he thrust the phone in Doyoung’s face. The older turned a bright red and flew out of bed, anger simmering as the maknae ran out of the room with a triumphant cry.

Already making the bed, Johnny ruffled the pillows before handing Doyoung his phone, which Doyoung remembered he left in his room. He eyed it cautiously. “Don’t worry, Doie, there’s no messages. Just thought you’d want to call him.” Right. He had to call Taeyong. Somehow, the thought of freaking out the leader seemed less appealing than getting another message. Sighing, he reached for the small device, checking to make sure there were no notifications, exhaling in relief when he found Johnny to be right.

“I gave your parents and the rest of your friends your new number this morning.” Doyoung fiddled with his hands, silently thanking Johnny.

A couple of minutes passed in awkward silence as the younger finally looked up. Doyoung then took in the, well, interesting state of his hyung. His bedhead was still there, and, though the bags on his eyes had shrunk, there were little wrinkles adjourning his forehead from stress. He could practically see the worried sweat dripping off of him. Johnny gave a disgruntled stare, knowing the question was on the tip of his dongsaengs tongue.

“You weren’t in your room, and I may have freaked out a little, and woken up Donghyuck.” At this Doyoung raised his eyebrows.

“Alright, fine. I was just a little scared yesterday, and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Thought I’d check on you, and then you just weren’t there.” Feeling a bit guilty, Doyoung rubbed a comforting hand on Johnny’s back. “Sorry hyung, I just-” He paused, trying to think of the right words.

“I felt cold.” He said finally, avoiding eye contact.

_“Do you still feel cold?”_

Doyoung walked towards the exit. “Are you hungry? Might as well cook since we’re all awake.” Johnny smiled and gave a nod, watching the man exit. Doyoung’s avoidance of the question was concerning, but in light of recent events, Johnny decided to let it go for now.

Despite his overall happy persona, Johnny noticed Doyoung’s hesitance. He always noticed the way the younger would look down during interviews, and the way he grimaced when he looked at himself through the mirror when the makeup noonas were getting them ready. He’d brought it up to Taeyong once, who noticed the same things. They had meant to corner the younger before Taeyong left, but they had gotten swamped by performances and concerts due to the period of quarantine that had just ended. Still, Johnny couldn’t help but notice the cracks in Doyoung. He’d always notice, because Doyoung was his brother.

They’d talk about it soon, preferably when Taeyong was back.

************

“That’s it. I’m buying a plane ticket, and I’m going home. You are not going to stop- Hyung let go! Doyoung needs-”

Taemin looked dejectedly at Baekhyun while the older wrestled with a frantic Taeyong. The leader of NCT 127 practically had a heart attack on the spot when Ten had come sprinting into his and Mark’s shared hotel room with Lucas in tow and shown them an article he’d found on his phone. A loud thud had sounded throughout the floor, causing the remaining three members of SuperM to run into the room. They were greeted with a rather interesting sight compromised of a shocked Mark staring absently at Ten’s phone while said man was holding down a rabid Taeyong. Taeyong, in all his flailing, accidentally wacked Lucas in the face, the younger stumbling back a little, falling right into Kai.

And now here they were, three people restraining Taeyong, two people on the ground comforting a worried, (and scared because Taeyong’s bracelet had flown of his wrist and almost hit the poor boy) Mark.

“Taeyong please! How do you think Doyoung would feel if you just gave up when we barely started promoting!”

From what Taeyong had told him, Baekhyun knew the two were extremely close. He even met him a couple times, and he could see the fondness in the pair’s eyes when they looked at each other.

“I don’t care! Someone _shot at him!_ Someone shot at my members!” Then, as if he’d just realized the severity of the situation, the younger finally stopped resisting, dropping to his knees and taking the Ten, Kai, and Baekhyun all down with him. Mark, Lucas, and Taemin crawled over.

“ _Someone almost killed my best friend_.” He said it in a whisper, almost as if it was a dream.

Ten brought Taeyong to his chest. “I know how you feel, hyung. He’s my friend too. I’m worried sick,” He paused, continuing when he got no response from his sobbing hyung, “but we can’t just stop. Doyoung would be even more stressed if he knew we came home early because of him. And besides, he’s got everyone else back at home.”

Taeyong never looked up, but his crying quieted down to a mere hiccup, and he nodded his head into Ten’s shirt.

“Baekhyun hyung is right. We can’t quit.”

Taeyong finally looked up. Kai shook his head and brought up a hand to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“What if it gets even worse. What if someone actually hurts him?” Taeyong asked with a shaking voice.

“Then we’ll go back immediately,” Ten said, his tone stating no room for argument. Taemin nodded his head in approval, rubbing soothing circles on Mark’s back.

“It won’t get that bad, right?” His voice was no more than a whisper, so unlike the youngest rapper that it threw Taeyong off. He gripped Mark’s hand and shook his head. “No, SM won’t let anything happen to hyung.”

Taeyong wasn’t sure if he even believed his own words.

************

Halfway through shoving a pancake into his mouth, Doyoung’s phone vibrated. Glancing at the contact name, his heart did a little jump as he realized it was Taeyong. “I’ll be right back,” He said in a rush as he nervously made his way to his room and shut the door. How was he supposed to explain everything to Taeyong?

He answered the video call with a soft, “Hello hyung,” and was not surprised to hear the chaos after answering. “Kim Doyoung! You better be alright, or I swear-”

“Hyung-”

“Do not go out by yourself. In fact, don’t go out at all. Stay inside-”

“Hyung-”

“Inside is nice, there’s Wi-Fi, you have food. You do have food, right? Please tell me you’ve been eating-”

“HYUNG!”

Taeyong finally stopped talking, looking through the screen at his dongsaeng. Doyoung looked good, there was seemingly nothing out of place. He breathed a sigh of relief. “Doyoung, you have to eat healthy, and you can’t skip meals.” Doyoung groaned and rubbed a hand over his face.

“I’m fine hyung, calm down.” Taeyong didn’t look too reassured. “If you need me to come home, just say the word.”

Doyoung adamantly shook his head. Taeyong look appalled.

Doyoung chuckled. “Hyung, these two months away from you are blessing. I can’t go a full year stuck with you.” Taeyong gasped and playfully but his hand over his heart. “You wound me, Doie.”

They chatted for an hour, and Doyoung realizes he was nervous for nothing. Despite the playful banter, he did miss Taeyong, but no way he was going to let him know. Mark, Ten, and Lucas eventually joined in. Ten looked a little concerned, but thankfully didn’t go into a whole monologue like Taeyong. Lucas and Mark both looked a bit scared, and Doyoung laughed at their worry and teased his dongsaengs. The atmosphere was lighter.

Doyoung actually felt _warm_ , for the first time in a while.

Saying their goodbyes, the other three left until it was just Taeyong left. “You know Doie,” he batted his eyes and gave a gleeful grin, “you don’t have to lie about not missing me. Hyuckie sent me a cute picture this morning.”

Confused, Doyoung tilted his head a little, before his face took on a darker shade of red than this morning. Taeyong busted out laughing.

“You look like a bunny, Doie.”

Once Taeyong caught his breath from all the laughter, he looked at the younger. His expression remained serious despite Doyoung’s glare.

“I miss you too. You can sleep in my room whenever you want. And call me anytime, even if I’m busy, I’ll call you back. Please, don’t push me away-”

“I don’t push-”

“Yes, you do. I know there’s something wrong, something’s been wrong for a while.” Doyoung internally cringed. How could he tell Taeyong, sweet, kind, hardworking Taeyong, that all he felt was the glass inside him shattering?

How could he tell Taeyong hat his body felt like sharp pieces of a broken mirror, that he lost his confidence with each imperfection he found, just as glass lost its strength with each scratch on its surface.

_Do you still feel cold?_

Fighting the urge to tear up, Doyoung promised his leader that he’d talk to him soon and wished him luck, before waving goodbye.

Despite the cold already creeping back up his skin, Taeyong’s warm, albeit concerned smile stopped the chill from entering his heart.

********

The day went on with similar situations. Sicheng and the rest of WayV video called him as well as Taeil and Jaehyun, as did Jeno. Doyoung was honestly getting pretty worn out from assuring everyone that he was fine. His parents called, and after doing his very best to reassure them that he wasn’t hurt, they went on a whole speal about how he should be eating okay, and that they would come to visit him whenever he needed them. He thought they sounded eerily similar to Taeyong.

Doyoung wasn’t even surprised when Gongmyung blew up his phone as soon as he’d given him the new phone number. If he thought talking to Taeyong was bad, speaking to his blood brother was a disaster. Gongmyung barely let the younger get even a sentence through before he’d freak out all over again and spew colorful words at the perpetrator who did this to his brother. All in all, it did put an amused smile on Doyoung’s face. He didn’t regret putting the phone on speaker for the rest of the dorm to hear, watching as they all sported similar amused expressions.

“You know hyung, we should probably do a vlive. There’s been a lot of talk on SNS.” Despite how much he wanted to just lay down, Doyoung agreed with Jaehyun. Their fans probably all knew by now what was happening, and they’ve received no word from the idols themselves, just the shitty SM statement. They decided to do one with the members who were home, this time in the second-floor common area. The vlive was refreshing, and it brought mostly good reactions from the worried fans. There was the increase in hate comments from antis who thought they’d take advantage of the situation, but Doyoung wasn’t about to go steer down that direction in his frail state.

Yuta would probably throw his phone out the window if he caught the younger reading them anyway.

************

“Hyung! Hyung, open up!” Jaehyun pounded on the door so hard Doyoung almost feared for his safety when he went to unlock it. As soon as it opened, Jaehyun came bursting in, his muscular arms firmly gripped Doyoung’s shoulders.

“Yah, how many times have I told you to be gentle so you don’t break down the do-”

“Manager-nim called, they caught him hyung. They caught the culprit!”

Johnny walked into the kitchen, face bright. “That’s great! What did he say?” Jaehyun scrolled on his phone, pulling up an article. “It’s all in here hyung,” He said as he passed the phone to Johnny, Doyoung draping over the older boy’s shoulder to read it with him. “No way,” he whispered, breath caught in his throat. If Jaehyun could smile even bigger, he would.

“It’s over, hyung. You’re safe.” Even those words seemed like a joke to Doyoung. He certainly didn’t feel safe.

Not when he was seconds away from shattering completely.

************

Police stations were no fun, Haechan supposed. For two weeks they had been going to and from the police station. They had yet to even see the suspect. Haechan learned his name, Lee Yejun, and each time he thought of the picture he’d seen flash across the tv screen, he shivered. This person almost killed his hyungs. This person was not a good person. Haechan couldn’t begin to fathom why someone would even want to hurt them, much less Doyoung.

He had tossed and turned thinking about it so much that Johnny groaned in his barely conscious state out of annoyance at the maknae’s restlessness. Giving up on sleep, Haechan quietly tip toed out of the bedroom and made way to the kitchen so his roommate could sleep.

Both Johnny and Taeil were working hard, trying to act as the leaders with them rotating on who would go to the police station and who would lead practice. Haechan could see their eye bags getting darker and darker by the day, and he knew his hyung needed all the sleep he could get.

Halfway to the kitchen, Haechan noticed the stream of light coming from the dining area. It was then that he heard a silent hiccup. He could distinctly hear the sound of someone crying silently, and alone. The only other person on this floor besides Doyoung was Taeyong, and he wasn’t even here. Haechan crept a little closer and peered from the corner.

Doyoung had his head buried into his arms, which lay across the table. He was in his pajamas, consisting of a loose-fitting T-shirt and a pair of lined sweats. He looked warm, but his frame shook and shivered. Haechan gently walked over to his hyung and sat down in the chair adjacent, the old thing creaking.

Doyoung looked up at the sound, starring absently at the maknae.

“Hyung?”

The older singer just shivered in response, leaning towards the younger and the warmth he possessed. Haechan caught him as the boy all but fell into his chest, shivering quietly in his shirt. 

_“So cold. Always cold.”_ Doyoung stuttered out, Haechan straining to hear. He tightened his hold on his hyung, surprised at how small he was. Had Doyoung always been this lean? Sure, the older boy was skinny, his body naturally tall and thin, but Haechan swore he could almost feel his ribs poking out. Now that he thought about it, when was the last time he’d seen the man eat? Hell, even he forgot to eat from time to time with all the practice and police stuff going on.

Sometimes he forgot that his hyung was delicate. He always seemed so bright, joking with the members and caring for the maknaes. Doyoung never let the members, well, at least Haechan, catch him as vulnerable as he was now. Seeing his hyung like this, Haechan forgot just how strong Doyoung really was. How many times had he broken down like this away from them?

Lost in thought, Haechan felt movement as Doyoung finally sat up straight, looking extremely guilty. At least he’d stopped shivering. “Sorry, that was- you shouldn’t have seen that.” Haechan made a noise of annoyance.

“So, was no one supposed to see?”

Haechan wasn’t surprised by the lack of response.

“Hyung, it’s okay to breakdown in front of me, a little bit of tears isn’t going to kill me or anyone else here.” Doyoung stared at the maknae as if he’d grown a third eye.

“Don’t give me that look, hyung. We all care about you. As sad as it makes me to see it, I’m glad you cried. That’s better than the fake smiles I get.”

Doyoung plucked at the hem of his tee. “When did you get so mature, Hyuckie?” Haechan gave a light chuckle. “I’ve always been mature hyung.” Doyoung rolled his eyes.

The maknae stood up, grabbing Doyoung’s elbow. “I’m sleepy hyung, and we have early practice tomorrow.” Doyoung smiled fondly as Haechan spoke, the maknae’s cheeks turning red as he looked ahead of him, refusing to meet his hyung’s eyes as he led him to his and Johnny’s shared room.

Haechan curled around Doyoung as they laid back, bringing the sheets with him around the older. Doyoung felt the warmness spreading, but it did nothing to tame the coolness inside his chest. He would always be cold.

_Always glass, cool to the touch._

“You know hyung, you’re really strong,” The maknae whispered, arms wrapped around Doyoung. The older boy turned to face him, caught off guard. “No, I’m not. You guys said it yourselves, I’m glass.”

Haechan shook his head. “That’s not why we call you glass hyung.” Doyoung shifted a bit. “Then what would you say it for?” Haechan giggled.

“That’s for Taeyongie hyung to tell you,” is all he said before yawning. A peaceful silence drifted over the room. Just as Doyoung was drifting off to sleep, he heard it.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

…

_“Not all glass is weak.”_

************

Johnny woke the next morning and immediately cooed at the sight of his members cuddling together. He snapped a few pics and posted them in their group chat, grinning at their reactions.

His attention was taken back to his brothers when Doyoung shifted a little, and Haechan burrowed even more into his side.

“Morning sleepy head,” Johnny greeted as Doyoung’s eyes fluttered open. Glancing to the still sleeping maknae, Doyoung let a slight smile slip past his lips. Johnny leaned over and ruffled his hair, eyeing the tear tracks on Doyoung’s cheeks, but thankfully not bringing it up. Then, with a rather mischievous glint, Johnny laid across the two of them, shoving at Haechan and yelling for him to wake up. Doyoung laughed at Donghyuck’s misery as Johnny resorting to tickling him until he finally uncurled himself from Doyoung and jumped out of bed.

“Hyuuuuung I don’t wanna gooooo,” Haechan groaned as he steadied himself. Johnny let out a snort.

“Well, you too looked so cute together I did have half a mind to let you stay, but then I’d get in trouble.” Haechan turned his head at this comment.

“Not a word to the others,” He pleaded, trying to sound as threatening as Haechan could. Johnny smirked. “Already sent a picture in the group chat.” Haechan made a noise of terror before running and tackling Johnny while Doyoung watched amusedly from the bed, blanket still wrapped around him.

_Kim Doyoung, despite the ice nesting in his fragile veins, felt warm for the first time in all of September._


	4. The Haunting Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> September left as October came through quickly. The ice inside Doyoung had settled as he began to move on from the incident last month. The culprit had been caught and the messages were no more, though Doyoung would be lying if he said he felt totally safe.
> 
> The warmth was coming back, but the lingering chill of glass remained. There was nothing to stop the fragile person he was. Doyoung feared he would never be strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, just a trigger warning, we get to see a little bit more of who Yejun is, and it’s not pleasant 
> 
> With that being said, please enjoy and stay safe
> 
> And as always, thank you for reading!

September left as October came through quickly. The ice inside Doyoung had settled as he began to move on from the incident last month. The culprit had been caught and the messages were no more, though Doyoung would be lying if he said he felt totally safe.

The warmth was coming back, but the lingering chill of glass remained. There was nothing to stop the fragile person he was. Doyoung feared he would never be strong.

_Not all glass is weak._

_But I am._

He and Taeyong chatted often and his members kept a careful eye on him, but none of it was enough to drown the shine of the sharp cuts he felt on the inside.

Doyoung laid on his bed, drowning in relief as his aching muscles finally rested. Though it was Halloween, they still had schedules and events, followed by practice.

All Doyoung really wanted to do at this point was sleep, and who was the world to deny him that one thing?

Apparently, the world hated him.

A strange tapping noise woke the boy from his short slumber, and he sluggishly moved out of bed, too annoyed to figure out what it was. The tapping became more insistent, and Doyoung felt his stomach drop as he recognized the sound of fingers touching glass. He frantically scrambled for the light switch, and once the room was illuminated, the tapping noise stopped.

Eerie silence filled the room.

Then, the sound of a window being lifted open replaced the silence, and Doyoung watched in horror as his window was forced open from behind the curtains, to petrified to move. The window stopped halfway, and a letter was thrown into the room, landing near Doyoung’s feet.

Hands trembling, Doyoung cautiously reached for the letter. He tore it open and unfolded it, dropping it immediately with a scream.

His door was kicked open for the umpteenth time this year, and Haechan and Johnny rushed in, the maknae diving down to curl around his shaking hyung. “Hyung? Hyung please calm down!”

Johnny eyed the letter on the floor, picking it up and turning it over, letting out a startled gasp.

“Oh god.”

There, written neatly in, was that _blood?_

**_Next time, my bullet won’t miss_ **

“Johnny hyung, he’s not breathing! He’s panicking, I can’t get him to calm down!” Haechan shouted frantically, close to tears of frustration.

Johnny folded the letter and knelt down towards his dongsaengs, cradling both of them.

“Doie, hyung’s right here. I need you to take a breath,” Johnny nearly cried in relief when he heard the younger boy attempt to take a wobbly breath in.

“Breathe in with me,” He paused, giving Doyoung time to process, “then exhale… good! You’re doing good, Doie.”

Johnny’s gentle coaxing helped Doyoung eventually gain some semblance of his composure, but he was breathing normally and that’s all Haechan could ask for in that moment. Doyoung was still pressed against Johnny, the two men sprawled on the floor behind Doyoung’s bed. Haechan sat next to them, having squirmed out of Johnny’s hold to watch with terrified eyes.

“The window,” Doyoung croaked, starring fearfully at it. Haechan stood up and moved the curtains, closing it and locking it. Doyoung visibly relaxed.

“It’s nice cuddling you and all but my butt hurts,” Johnny complained, “and the floor is cold,” he added as an afterthought.

Doyoung let out a hoarse chuckle.

“Hyung?”

Johnny tilted his head in acknowledgement.

“I don’t want to stay in this room.”

Neither of the two could blame him. Johnny pulled the younger up from the floor and ran to the pantry to grab a small plastic bag.

“Pack some pj’s and whatever else you need. You too, Hyuckie. We’re going to stay with the others.”

With help from the maknae, Doyoung packed the essentials, and the three left the dorm room.

_Doyoung wished not for the first time that his glass heart would turn into steel._

********

Yuta was expecting the delivery boy with his takeout order. What he was not expecting was to open the door to the sight of a pale Haechan, a trembling Doyoung, and a rather pissed (but concerned) Johnny standing in the middle of the doorway with a thin plastic bag filled with clothes.

“We’re staying here tonight.”

“Uh,” Yuta stated eloquently.

“Sorry guys, I didn’t order that much food.”

Haechan rolled his eyes.

“They’re back,” Johnny said, pushing his two dongsaengs into the second-floor dorm room of NCT 127.

“Who’s back?”

In lieu of an answer, Johnny pulled the folded letter out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Yuta, watching his eyes widening as he read it.

“How? The police- what the hell is going on?” 

Taeil entered the room upon hearing the raised voices. Haechan and Johnny were standing in the kitchen with a tensed Yuta while Doyoung strayed behind them, hunched in on himself.

“Doie?” The boy faced his hyung, and Taeil was disturbed by the redness of his eyes and the weariness coloring his features. He walked over and wrapped his arms around his dongsaeng.

“Call manager-nim, something’s not right.” Johnny regarded Taeil, the older boy reaching for his phone, cradling Doyoung still.

“I’m calling the police,” Yuta said, authority in his tone.

No one argued. 

************

Taeil and Doyoung were back in the police station with one of their managers, Minjun. The two police officers newly assigned to their case walked into the room they were in, taking their seats across from the idols.

“I’m Detective Park, and my partner here is Detective Kim,” the older one said, fixing his spectacles before extending a hand.

“The only other information we’ve been able to gather was that Yejun was not the only one involved. He wouldn’t give any other names.” Detective Kim seemed to hesitate a little, eyeing the state Doyoung was in.

“He said he’d give us more on one condition.”

At this, Doyoung and Taeil sat up straighter. Manager Minjun motioned for them to continue. “He wants to speak to Doyoung-ssi.”

Taeil shook his head, “No, absolutely not.”

Doyoung grabbed the older boy’s hand. “Hyung, I just want this to be over. I’ll be fine.”

Taeil shared a glance with the manager, then the manager turned to the cops. “Will you be in there with him?”

“Of course, sir. His safety is our first priority.”

Manager Minjun let out a long sigh. “Doyoung, are you sure?”

“Yes hyung-nim, I’m sure.”

Taeil glanced at the determination in Doyoung’s face and buried his head in his hands.

“I swear, I’m going to have a heart attack before this is over.”

Doyoung gave his hyung a soft smile as they were led to a small interrogation room.

Sitting inside the room with the one officer by his side, the other escorting Yejun, Doyoung felt as if the walls were inclosing themselves on him as he waited with bated breath.

His body felt course, the air was too _rough_ on his skin. His glassy resolve was already cracking, and the fact that he couldn’t see through the tinted windows to look at his hyung’s familiar face didn’t help.

A chill worked its way down his spine as Yejun entered, the man’s face wrinkling into an unsettling smile. His eyes were as dark as night, and he sported some heavy eyebags. He was fairly tall and a bit on the lean side, with long pale arms that looked as though they could break whatever his bony fingers touched. His eyes lingered on Doyoung before settling on the dark window.

Though he couldn’t see who was behind it, Doyoung caught a familiar glint in his eyes, as if he knew who was there.

The cop pushed the man into the chair directly in front of Doyoung.

“A deal is a deal, Lee Yejun.” Detective Park spoke in a voice that left no room for argument.

“How do you expect me to tell you anything with you practically breathing down my neck,” Yejun said in a calming tone that completely contrasted with the darkness in his breath.

“Back up, or else I’m going to stay quiet.”

The two policemen shared a glance, staying right by Doyoung. Despite his better judgement, Doyoung spoke up. “It’s okay, he’s handcuffed to the table, right? Please back up.”

“Ah, so he speaks. Best to keep silent, pretty boy, I prefer the dead to have their mouths closed upon burial.”

The absolute madness dripping out of the man when he talked was enough for Doyoung to start trembling from the cold. The cops that were about to step back halted their movements, and Yejun smirked at Doyoung, silent as ever.

“Back up! Please!” 

Whether it was the desperation in Doyoung’s voice or their need for more information, Doyoung didn’t know, but he was grateful they complied. Even if it made the cold so much worse.

“Now, where shall we begin?” Yejun glanced around, finally looking back at Doyoung.

“Oh, by the way, _Bunny_ , that pathetic trembling of yours, though I admit it kinda turns me on, is a bit distracting.”

The two policemen immediately pushed themselves away from the wall to come back near the table at the comment, but Doyoung motioned to them to stay put.

He could do this. He had to, otherwise they’d get nowhere.

_He was bound to shatter sooner or later._

Doyoung took a calming breath and forced himself to stop shaking, hands gripping the chair madly.

“Look how obedient,” Yejun said coolly, chapped lips lifting to reveal another flash of a grin.

“Yejun, we have a deal. Either spill or we lock you back up,” Detective Kim spoke up after the blatant harassment.

Yejun scowled. “Fine, but I’ll only answer the kid’s questions.”

Then to Doyoung, “the floor’s yours, bunny. What do you want to know?”

Doyoung fiddled with his hands. This man knew exactly what he was doing. He would only talk to Doyoung, and with the position he put the police in, he could harass the boy all day if it meant they would get new leads so long as Doyoung allowed them to stay put.

It was just words; he could do it damnit.

“Who sent me the letter earlier today?”

Yejun laughed loudly. “You think I know? I’ve been here since what, last month?”

Doyoung looked down at the table, suddenly finding it very interesting.

“But,” Doyoung perked up, “If I had to guess, it was probably my sister.”

“What do you mean probably?”

Yejun let out a devilish smirk.

“Honestly, I don’t see why she wants to kill you so badly, if she wanted to simply get rid of you, I’d have been happy to do that in a different way rather than waste a fine specimen such as yourself.”

Doyoung was finding it harder to breathe and he could feel Detective Park’s eyebrow twitch in anger.

“It couldn’t have been hyung, so it was probably her. Fair warning for next time, _not everyone in the world’s going to love you_.”

The glass inside Doyoung was downright crumbling.

“Y-you mean, at least one more person was trying to kill me?”  
  


Another chuckle, and Doyoung’s skin felt _cold cold cold._

“Well there’s at least three that I know about. Did you really think I could call you and shoot you at the same time?”

“I know you’re the one that called, me, you sound the same,” Doyoung said, confidence depleting.

“Correct!”

“Then, someone else shot me?”

“Right again, though why this surprises you I really don’t know,” Yejun tsked, “You’re so naïve. Best to watch that pretty back of yours, especially with that body.”

The air was turning crisper by the second. Doyoung could feel the cracks in his body threatening to break off.

“Wonder who will be the one to kill you, bunny.”

“That’s enough! Detective Park, get him out of here,” the other officer yelled, “We have enough, it’s obvious he won’t give us names.”

Yejun laughed as Detective Park made to uncuff him, and in the split second his hands were freed, Yejun’s pale arms shot across the table as he grabbed Doyoung by the collar of his shirt, dragging him around the table and into the furthest corner.

His cold, bony upper arm was wrapped around Doyoung’s neck, almost in a headlock, and the boy struggled for air, trembling back in full swing as he was pushed against Yejun.

The two policemen acted quickly and didn’t hesitate to pull out their guns, but Yejun had Doyoung covering him, using him as a human shield.

“Shoot, and I break his neck.”

Doyoung let out a whimper as Yejun dragged a bony finger up his spine, circling around to his face. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt an unpleasant finger tracing his cheek, wiping away the wetness from his eyes.

“It’d be a shame if I wasn’t the one to take your life, so here’s a hint.

_‘An actor never rests_

_The man who is a coin_

_Is your most potent threat’”_

Yejun wrapped a hand in the boy’s hair, yanking him closer. Doyoung let out a yelp as his neck strained, and squeezed his eyes closed as the man sniffed his hair and wrapped his other cold hand around his neck, fingers digging into Doyoung’s icy skin.

Detective Park cocked his gun, but the move was pointless. The chance he’d accidentally hit Doyoung was greater than hitting Yejun, both cops knew this.

Hell, even Doyoung knew this. Taeil and the manager watching from outside probably knew this.

And Yejun knew this.

“Do your best to remember that riddle bunny, or your head will be the next thing on the chopping block,” Yejun breathed into Doyoung’s ear.

Then, with a smirk towards the two detectives, Yejun licked the part of Doyoung’s neck that was exposed, causing the younger to jerk away and let out a little cry. The man was only spurred on by the younger’s reaction and dragged his tongue further across the cold skin.

“You taste nice, bunny,” he muttered so only Doyoung could hear, then he pushed the terrified boy to the cops, holding up his hands in surrender.

Detective Park took no time to harshly yank Yejun’s head on the table, skull meeting the metal with a bang. Doyoung winced at the noise, and flinched at Yejun’s eyes still on him, all the while the male laughed.

Doyoung couldn’t stop trembling. “Get him out of here Kim!” The cop holding Doyoung gave a nod, dragging the boy out.

Taeil sprinted to them, wrapping Doyoung in a hug, trying to calm himself down.

“Doyoungie, oh my god,” then turning to Detective Kim, “you said he’d be _safe_ , what the hell was that?” The man looked at them with guilt in his eyes, then lowered into a deep bow.

“I’m sorry, Taeil-ssi, Doyoung-ssi, we shouldn’t have let him near you. We miscalculated, and that caused you pain.”

Taeil’s eyes held no remorse, fury sparking. Doyoung could feel the anger, cradled into his hyung’s chest. Manager Minjun put a hand on Taeil’s shoulder.

“Not now, Taeil. Doyoung’s shaking, we need to get him out of here.”

Taeil huffed, but nodded, arms tightening around Doyoung’s trembling frame. Manager Minjun pushed them in the direction of the waiting room before turning around to face the cop, uttering something to him before they stalked off to deal with the remainder of the case.

“Hyung, can’t- can’t breathe,” Doyoung gasped out, breath caught in his throat. All he could feel was the _sharpness_ of Yejun’s tongue on his _cold_ skin, all he could hear was the hushed, raspy voice.

Taeil held him close, coaching him on his breathing, trying not to cry at the bruise forming on his brothers neck, forming like ice cracking in a frozen pond. 

Taeil was trained to care for his dongsaengs, was responsible enough to be the leader when Taeyong was gone, but he basked in the fact that he didn’t feel the pressure to act like the oldest and that his dongsaengs accepted him as he was. Hell, most times Doyoung and Taeyong babied him more than he babied them. He’d never thought he’d be in this position, holding his shivering brother after he’d been assaulted for the second time while acting as leader with the real one gone.

Taeil never thought he’d have to take responsibility, yet here they were.

He felt selfish, selfish for complaining about being leader while Doyoung was in his arms, struggling to hold his tears. Looking at his dongsaeng, he decided he’d swallow his stress and pain for him. Right now, he had to take care of someone who always made sure he ate.

Always made sure they were happy.

Doyoung felt so _cold_ , and Taeil shrugged off his warm coat and cuddled the shivering boy with it. Doyoung leaned into him and they sat there, drifting in the deafening silence. Taeil noticed the fluttering of his brother’s eyes.

“Sleep, Doie. I can carry you to the van.” Doyoung shook his head.

“What if he’s there when I close my eyes?”

Taeil inhaled. Exhaled.

“I won’t let him be. I’m here, okay?”

Doyoung let a stray tear fall, shining like light reflecting off a mirror.

“He _licked_ me, hyung. I can still feel it. Feels sharp. Like a knife.” He glanced up at Taeil through lidded eyes. “I’m so cold, hyung” he mumbled, losing the battle to his fatigue.

If he ever saw that man again, Taeil was going to kill him and he knew the rest of the members wouldn’t stop him.

************

The rest of NCT huddled together, eating instant ramen because cooking was too much work, (and not worth it if both chefs were not there.) “They’re taking a while,” Jaehyun said to no one in particular.

“They probably stopped and got actual food without us,” Haechan pouted, slurping dejectedly on his noodles.

“Ramen is just fine, Hyuck,” Jungwoo said, happily munching away on a bag of chips he’d dug out of the pantry, ramen cup already empty.

“Your opinion does not count, you eat everything.”

“Yah my opinion should count more since I’m the one who eats everything!”

Haechan scoffed, “hyung, how does that even make sense?”

Before Jungwoo could comment, Taeil walked in with a barely conscious Doyoung clinging to him like his life depended on him.

“Hyung? You’re back late,” Jungwoo said.

“Is everyone in the dining room?” Taeil glanced around, briefly wondering how Taeyong managed to keep count of all the members.

“No, Yuta hyung is in his room, said something about us being too loud.”

As if that was suprising.

Jaehyun peered around the corner, eyes catching Doyoung’s hunched form. “Doyoung hyung, are you okay?”

Doyoung shook his head while starring down at the floor, scared to look up. Taeil made pained noise and clung to him, pushing him towards the living room to lay on the couch. “Go get Yuta, we need to talk.”

The other members abandoned their food, moving to circle around Doyoung and Taeil as Jaehyun wen to go fetch Yuta.

“We also might want to call Taeyong, he and Mark need to hear this,” Taeil said, making a space for an intruding Haechan in between he and Doyoung. The maknae plopped down between them, putting an arm around each of them and leaning his head on Taeil’s shoulder.

The oldest boy dialed Taeyong’s number, putting the settings on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Taeyong, is Mark there with you?”

“Taeil hyung? Is everything okay?”

At hearing the familiar voice of the leader, Doyoung promptly burst into tears.

************

“He _licked_ you?!”

Jungwoo made a face of disgust as Yuta winced at Taeyong’s screech. Taeil nodded grimly, then remembered Taeyong and Mark couldn’t see him.

“That’s not all. That asshole bruised him. He has a fucking handprint on his neck!” No one commented on their normally soft spoken hyung’s word choice, too shocked by the recent turn of events.

“What?” Mark’s voice filtered through the phone, his tone wavering. Johnny crouched before Doyoung, hands moving his neck and inspecting the damage.

“Hyung,” Mark spoke again, “please say something. We need to know you’re okay.”

“He- he told me I tasted nice, and that he wondered who would be the one to k-k-kill me,” Doyoung stuttered.

There was a brief moment where no one moved, no one even dared to breath.

“I’m going to kill that motherfucker,” a new voice was heard.

“Ouch! Taeminnie hyung, what was that for? I’m serious. You heard what he said,” Ten screamed.

Doyoung let out a soft smile drying his puffy eyes. “Is everyone there?”

“You scared us last time, we wanted to make sure you were okay,” Yukhei said through the device, voice deep with worry.

“Baekhyun hyung, Taemin hyung, and Kai hyung are all here too.”

Doyoung gasped in surprise at that. “Oh, really?”

“Hello, Doyoung. Sorry to intrude, but Taeyong nearly killed us all last time so we’re here to make sure no one gets injured,” Baekhyun said lightly through the phone.

“We’re worried too. I don’t know you that well, but if something happened to you…, I consider you a friend, Doyoung. We all do.” Kai spoke up, voice a bit muffled.

Doyoung teared up a bit, thanking him quietly.

“Doyoungie, do you think you can manage to tell us exactly what happened?” Yuta asked, then quickly adding, “It’s okay if you can’t or don’t want to, just, I want us all to be on the same page.” He guiltily looked at the younger boy, who sat up a little straighter.

“I don’t know, but I’ll try,” he said finally, hand finding its way to the maknae’s, Haechan squeezing it gently.

Time flew by as Doyoung recalled the encounter, sparring no details, deciding it was best they heard everything, even the parts Doyoung wanted to forget. He’s hid enough from them.

His breath hitched a little as he made his way through retelling the moment when he started panicking in the interrogation room, stuttering through every word Yejun said to him and watching as the member’s faces changed into disgust and horror.

Haechan gripped his hand tighter.

When he finally finished, there was a tranquil silence as everyone took the time to process the information.

“Doie,” Taeyong finally said, voice heavy through the phone, “be honest. Do you want us to come home?”

Another moment of silence.

“I do, but-”

“No, no buts. I made a deal with hyung that if you got hurt, we could go home. You’re definitely hurt. Plus, I’m sure Taeil hyung and Johnny hyung are probably stressed as well. I’m sorry you all had to deal with this without me.”

Doyoung made a noise of protest.

“It’s true, Doyoung,” Baekhyun said, “I talked to our managers and they said if something else happened, they could get us home by November 5th, which is next week.”

Doyoung sniffled. He missed Mark and his bright laugh and he missed Taeyong and his warmth.

“Please,” he cried, “please come home.”

“Okay. Okay Doie. We’ll be back soon, hang in there.”

Doyoung just cried silently, not having enough energy to feel the guilt at forcing SuperM to halt their promotions. He was sick of feeling like an icebox, his insides freezing, heart delicate as glass with its bleeding cracks.

************

That night, as he lay between Yuta and Taeil, Doyoung cried silently. He was scared, so scared. And so very cold.

Yuta turned to face him, holding him gently. “I’ve got you, Doyoungie. Hyung’s going to protect you.”

Finally feeling warmer wrapped around Yuta, Doyoung closed his eyes as his hyung held him, sleep creeping up on him.

_Hyung’s going to protect you._

Those words scared him even more.


	5. November Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sorry hyung, but I’ve got nothing,” Jaehyun said, throwing his hands down in frustration. He, Doyoung, and Jungwoo all ventured out to the public library in hopes of finding something about the riddle.
> 
> “What does that even mean, the person who is a coin?”
> 
> Doyoung ignored the younger in favor of looking through the computer while Jungwoo flipped through the third Most Famous Riddles of History. They’d been here for more than two hours with no luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is... definitely something
> 
> I honestly struggled with it for a bit and I'm not entirely satisfied, but this is the best I could do and I think it turned out decent

_November 2, 2020_

“Sorry hyung, but I’ve got nothing,” Jaehyun said, throwing his hands down in frustration. He, Doyoung, and Jungwoo all ventured out to the public library in hopes of finding something about the riddle.

“What does that even mean, the person who is a coin?”

Doyoung ignored the younger in favor of looking through the computer while Jungwoo flipped through the third _Most Famous Riddles of History._ They’d been here for more than two hours with no luck.

“Hey Jaehyun, do you happen to have any coins on you,” Doyoung asked, finally looking away from the computer screen. Jaehyun dug through his pockets. “Aha!” He exclaimed, pulling out a five hundred won coin.

Doyoung took it from him, studying it for a minute. He must’ve stared at it with a lot of intent, because Jungwoo had glanced up from his book with mild curiosity. “Did you figure it out, hyung?”

Doyoung deflated. “No.”

Jaehyun gave a concerned look before he felt his phone vibrate. He unlocked it and looked through the messages, all from a certain group chat.

**F is for friends who were born in 97**

**_Jaehyun97_ **

****

**Anyone here good at riddles**

**_DKDKDokyeom_ **

****

**Like what kind of riddle**

**_Jaehyun97_ **

****

**An actor never rests**

**The man who is a coin**

**Is your most potent threat**

**_Jungkookieeeeee_ **

**A man who is a coin?**

**Rm hyung might know something, he loves riddles.**

**I’ll talk to him once we’re done at the studio.**

**_Jaehyun97_ **

**Thank you**

**I appreciate it**

**_Jungkookieeeeee_ **

**No problem**

**All of you stay safe**

“Jungkookie says one of his hyungs might know something,” Jaehyun said, putting his phone up. Doyoung sighed. Jungwoo lightly hit his shoulder. “Don’t stress too much, hyung. We’ve got your back.”

Jaehyun nodded. “Might as well head home, it’s getting late.”

They ended up leaving the library with four other books on riddles and an unsettling weight on Doyoung’s chest.

************

Doyoung woke up to sunlight streaming through the light blue curtains of Johnny’s and Haechan’s shared room. He hadn’t slept in his own since the window incident two days ago. Not that he minded, rather, Doyoung was getting used to waking up next to someone.

He felt as though it stopped the ice from spreading.

Haechan was curled around him, the younger still asleep. Doyoung would gladly continue laying down, but he was hungry. And he really really really had to pee.

On the way to the bathroom down the hall, Doyoung passed by his bedroom when something caught his eye. He froze, mindlessly walking towards it. His door was wide open.

He’d shut it last night, hadn’t he? Doyoung shrugged the feeling off, chalking it down to him being paranoid.

_Wonder who will be the one to kill you, bunny_

Splinters of glass trickling down his spine.

_Are you still cold?_

He stepped into his room to close the door when he saw it.

“Hyung!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, backing into the wall and sinking down when he felt it. Johnny came rushing, almost tripping over his own feet at the terror filled cry.

Doyoung was shaking so badly, pressing himself closer to the wall. He lifted a trembling finger and pointed to his room, door ajar.

All Johnny had to do was peak in before he jumped back, a startled cry leaving his lips. He didn’t’ know what to do, he was scared.

_He was scared._

It wasn’t even meant for him; he didn’t have the right to be scared. But he was. He knelt down to the floor next to Doyoung, who had a hand covering his mouth, whole body racking with shivers.

“Oh my god, h-hyung-”

Johnny hadn’t even noticed the maknae come out, and mentally cursed himself. Haechan stood frozen in the doorway to Doyoung’s room, frame lightly shaking.

“Donghyuck, back away!” He said, pushing himself up to grab the maknae from behind. Haechan startled at the hands wrapping around his waist, turning to look at his hyung with tear-filled eyes.

He slammed Doyoung’s door shut, bringing Haechan and the boy on the floor close.

“Can you two go up to the other room?” He asked, voice wavering a bit.

Doyoung gave him a fearful look.

“But hyung, what about you?”

“I’ll stay here and call the police and managers. You need to leave.”

He looked pointedly at the closed door.

“Actually, scratch that, I’m calling Yuta to come and get you two, I don’t want you going by yourselves.”

As soon as Johnny hung up, Yuta appeared at the door in record time.

“What exactly did you see, you all look pale,” He raised an eyebrow at the three huddled together.

Johnny rolled his eyes, but his jaw was still clenched tightly. 

“Doyoungie, wait here. I-I’ll go get you some clothes,” Johnny said, mentally preparing himself to go back in the room.

Doyoung shook his head adamantly.

“No, don’t go in there, I can wear this-”

“I’ll go get them, you all need to catch your breath,” Yuta said, pulling Johnny’s elbow and leading him to the sofa.

“You don’t know what’s in there. Please don-”

Yuta hushed the older boy, pulling both Doyoung and Haechan to sit next to their hyung. “Hey, I’ll be fine.”

_Hyung’s going to protect you._

“It can’t be any worse than our line distribution,” he joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Doyoung stayed silent, but his face still showed the hesitance as Johnny managed to crack a smile.

“I’m going with you,” Doyoung eventually settled on.

Johnny made a noise of protest but Doyoung stood up on shaky legs, grabbing Yuta’s arm. “It’s my room, anyway.”

Yuta, though he really didn’t want the younger going anywhere near whatever he was about to find in that room, forced himself to agree. Who was he to tell Doyoung no? His dongsaeng deserved to make his own choices after everything.

“Fine.”

Yuta opened the door, heart sinking to his stomach. He immediately grabbed Doyoung’s hand, both clammy with nervous sweat.

Above Doyoung’s bed, the words _You’re next_ were spray painted in red, and one of the picture frames he had on his desk was thrown onto the floor, his face sprayed over.

What was on the bed, no one had been prepared for.

“Oh my god,” Yuta whispered, starring at the very real and very not alive rabbit placed neatly in the middle of the bed.

Yuta had never felt so sick to his stomach. Someone had broken into his brothers’ dorm, without them knowing, and done all _this_. They weren’t safe here.

_Were they ever safe here?_

He heard Doyoung’s breath hitch, and he quickly turned around.

“Don’t look, Doyoungie, focus on me okay? Look at me.” Doyoung nodded.

He and Doyoung made their way to his dresser, pulling out several pairs of T-shirts and sweats and shoving them quickly in a backpack that was near Doyoung’s desk.

The smell of the dead animal was starting to drift over them, Yuta never letting go of Doyoung’s hand.

“Close your eyes, I’ll lead you out.”

Yuta tried not to look at the unsettling sight, keeping his eyes forward on the hallway. As soon as they made it out, he slammed the door closed again, and the pair slumped down, both breathing heavily in mild shock.

“What the fuck,” Yuta said eventually, still holding the younger’s hand.

Doyoung couldn’t answer, just leaned into his side.

Johnny and Haechan came over quietly, sitting down next to them and joining in on the awkward (but much needed) hug.

After a good twenty minutes of quiet, Doyoung could finally catch his breath.

He laughed weakly. “You know,” he said, “if I had five hundred won for every time my door was kicked open or closed these past two months, I’d have more money than all of you combined.”

Yuta chuckled dejectedly next to him.

********

Manager Minjun pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

“Listen to me, Youngho. The police are doing all they can. I’m doing the best I can.”

Johnny just scoffed at the man.

“Then get us out of here! Someone _broke_ into our dorm and fucking _killed a rabbit and threw it in Doyoung’s room!”_

Minjun put both of his hands on the younger’s shoulders. “Which is why we are going to keep you all on the second floor. It’s too little notice to cancel your schedules and usher you all to a hotel. Plus, the fans would worry even more than they already did after the shooting incident.”

The manager then looked sympathetically at the boy. “If it were up to me, I’d cancel everything and move you all in a heartbeat. But it’s not.”

Johnny sighed. “I know, hyung, it’s just, we’re all scared. And SM isn’t doing shit!” Minjun winced a bit at that, then wrapped the boy in a hug.

“I know. It’s okay. We did get the approval to increase security, so no one should be able to get in again.”

Johnny felt a little better, but he found it hard to believe more security would stop whoever was after Doyoung.

************

Taeil noticed the anger in the air that hung around Johnny as soon as he stepped into the room.

“Call Taeyong,” the boy ordered gruffly, voice a little hoarse.

Taeil winced a little before dialing the leader’s number.

“Here,” he said, handing the phone to Johnny. The boy motioned for Taeil to follow, and they left to go to Taeil’s room, shutting the door quietly.

The other’s watched the scene over in the living area, sticking close to a sleeping Doyoung taking up the couch. Jaehyun winced a little as he heard raised voices, briefly checking on Doyoung to make sure the boy hadn’t woken up.

“Guess that means we’re not getting a hotel,” Jungwoo mused, flipping through the last book on riddles he checked out at the library with a heated gaze.

“Of course, they’re not. Why waste money on the very people who bring them their fortune,” Yuta sarcastically responded, face bitter.

Jungwoo said nothing in response, desperation taking over his features as he kept turning page after page. Jaehyun walked over to the boy and grabbed the book from him, closing it and placing it on the coffee table near the sofa.

“You’ve been reading that thing all day, Jungwoo. Take a break.”

Jungwoo gave the older boy a tired glare.

“Doyoung hyung doesn’t have time for a break,” he mumbled.

The room was filled with a sharp sting as regret built in Jungwoo’s heart.

“Sorry hyung. I’m just so tired. I want this to be over.” He said, looking away from Jaehyun. Jaehyun sat next to the boy on the floor and wrapped an arm around him.

“I know, trust me.”

Just then, Johnny and Taeil entered the room.

“SuperM’s coming back tomorrow, they’ll be here before 9pm.”

“Hyungs are coming back tomorrow?” Haechan finally piped up

Johnny smirked a little.

“I’m pretty sure after what happened today, they wouldn’t have been able to hold Taeyong back until the 5th.”

Everyone unanimously agreed.

************

The next day, Doyoung was woken up by an excited “Hyung!” and spared no remorse when he glared at Jaehyun, the boy ignoring it and shoving his phone in Doyoung’s face.

“Read this,” he all but demanded, grabbing the older boy’s hand and setting the phone in it.

**F is for friends born in 97**

**_Jungkookieeeeee_ **

**Namjoon hyung says it could mean that the person is two faced**

**A coin has two sides with different things on them**

**_Jungkookieeeeee_ **

**Hyung also said that the actor metaphor**

**could be the person putting up a front**

**_Jaehyun97_ **

****

**Jungkookie that’s amazing!**

**_1THE8_ **

**What if it’s someone close to you**

**_Yuggggyeom_ **

**I don’t like the sound of that**

**Please be careful Jaehyunnie**

**_Jaehyun97_ **

****

**I will, don’t worry**

“Two faced, huh?”

Jaehyun shrugged. “It’s a start, hyung. See, we’re getting somewhere.”

Doyoung lightly grinned, stretching his limbs as he stepped out of bed.

“Oh yeah, Taeyong hyung and Mark will be back late tonight,” Jaehyun said, walking out of the room. Doyoung perked up a bit at the news, glad that after two long months he’d finally see his best friend and dongsaeng.

Despite the glass shattering inside him, Doyoung felt less cold.

He prayed the day went by fast.

************

Renjun sighed for the umpteenth time that night and glanced at his phone, time displaying a stark 10:00 pm. He groaned and sat up, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. Practice yesterday had really been a pain, and his muscles were unbelievably sore.

So sore that apparently it was impossible for him to get any sleep.

He glanced over to where his roommate slept and could only make out the faint outline of Jeno’s sleeping form. All the members of NCT Dream had a rough day. Following dinner, they all went to their rooms to sleep, their manager included.

Renjun pulled the covers off and made his way to the kitchen, fumbling for the light switch. Digging through the pill drawer, he let out a little sound of triumph when he finally pulled out the ibuprofen. He popped open the bottle and was about to set it down to get a glass of water before his eyes caught sight of a shadow moving in the corner near the television stand next to an opened window.

He let out a scream as the figure moved, light from the kitchen enough to see that the intruder was dressed in all black, face covered by a mask. The pill bottle slipped from his hands as the figure sprinted to him and covered his mouth with his large palm.

The sound of pills spilling all over the kitchen floor was like a fire alarm, shattering the tranquil silence of the night.

Renjun was shaking in fear as the man’s hand was covering his mouth, strong enough to push Renjun up against the kitchen cabinets. He let out a muffled cry as the handle dug into his back.

He didn’t register the lights turning on until he heard a startled “Get your hands off him!” His eyes searched the room before they landed on a scared Jaemin. The man glanced at Jaemin and then back at Renjun, and Renjun could’ve sworn he saw a familiar glint in the intruder’s eyes.

Just then, the sound of footsteps mixed with a loud “Hey!” moved the man into action and he grabbed Renjun, darting towards the open window. Renjun clawed at the stranger, tearing at the jacket until a piece of paper fell out.

The boy could see the tension in the man’s shoulders as he finally let go of Renjun and all but threw him across the room at the three members chasing after them. Jeno barely managed to catch him, the force knocking both of them over.

“Shit!” Jisung cursed as the man climbed out the window, figure retreating into the shadow of the bushes, night too dark to allow his searching eyes to find him.

Jaemin was too shaken to scold the maknae for language, crouching down to Jeno and Renjun on the floor.

"Is everyone okay?" He asked in a wobbly voice as Jisung strode over to help the pair on the floor sit up. Jeno looked a bit harried, but his concerned gaze fell to the boy buried in his chest. Renjun was trembling in Jeno’s arms, taking deep, wobbly breaths to calm himself down.

Jisung glanced around the room, noticing the discarded paper that had fallen. He picked it up and examined it, eyes widening.

“Hyung, you need to see this,” he said to no one in particular.

Jaemin motioned for the maknae to bring the paper over, gasping when he saw it.

It was a picture of Doyoung, but his face had a giant red x over it, lines madly drawn.

“I’m going to call the police, go wake up Manager Sungmin,” Jaemin announced, hand shaking as he showed the picture to Jeno before standing up.

Jisung nodded, still shaken, before running down the hall to the manager’s room. NCT Dream’s manager had his own room where he slept when the team had packed schedules, and he was staying with them for the month; November bringing nothing but busy and tiring work for the group.

The maknae knocked on the door but got no response. Opening it, he flipped on the light switch, stomach dropping when he saw the unmade bed with no manager. Then, Jisung’s eyes lingered on a small cardboard box shoved haphazardly underneath the bed, as if the man was in too much of a rush to hide it appropriately.

There were cans of red spray paint and markers and stacks of pictures, all of a certain person. Jisung grabbed the box, speed walking to the living room.

“Jaemin Hyung, don’t call the police yet,” he said, huffing as he set the box down on the coffee table. Jeno had shifted Renjun to sofa, arm still around him.

Jaemin appeared from the kitchen, phone in hand. “What do you mean? I have to-”

“Call Johnny hyung first,” he said, “Manager Sungmin is gone.”

Jaemin shook his head.

“What do you mean gone?”

Jisung just motioned to the box, watching the members’ faces dawning in horror and realization as they looked through it.

_No. no way. Not their own staff._

"We have to tell the police,” Jeno said, skin taking on a new shade of fear.

They could only pray their hyung would be safe while Jaemin desperately dialed for the emergency services.

Renjun had never been more scared in his life as Jeno and Jisung cuddled closer to him, for once relenting, needing them close. 

************

Johnny didn’t know what real desperation was until he got the call from Jaemin. Now, in various stages of shock, the members of 127 huddled together on the second floor living room after hanging up with Jaemin.

“The police said not to tell management about Sungmin, just to tell them that someone broke in. They’re moving us to a hotel,” Jaemin had said over the phone.

“Our own manager, what the hell?” Jaehyun said, one arm around Doyoung’s shoulders. Doyoung looked pale, face sunken in with worry and stress.

Well that explains the coin bit, Doyoung thought bitterly.

Haechan had been chewing his nails ever since the call. “I should be with them, hyung, they were probably terrified. Renjun-”

“Hyuck, I know you’re concerned, but they’re fine, just shaken up. Jaemin said Renjun wasn’t hurt.”

“But still,” the maknae drifted off with his trail of thought.

A knock on their door suddenly sliced through the tension causing Doyoung to flinch, Jaehyun tightening his grip on the older boy.

Taeil stood up, moving to open the door, glancing through the peep hole.

“It’s just Minjun hyung,” he said, moving to open the door. Manager Minjun was one of two managers who normally lived with the members during busy schedules, but since they were all on the same floor for the past two nights, only Minjun would stay with them.

“He’s back pretty late,” Jungwoo remarked, glancing at the time.

The manager walked in looking weary.

“Taeyong and Mark will be back close to two in the morning, so I expect you all to be asleep by the time they get back,” he said sternly.

“Aww, I was really hoping to see hyungs tonight,” Haechan deflated, pouting.

“You’ll see them tomorrow. We have an early schedule so it’s probably best to get to sleep before midnight,” Jaehyun commented, though he looked a bit disappointed as well.

************

It was getting close to one in the morning and Doyoung was still awake, eyes blinking through the dim light of the lamp adjacent to the couch. There was only about one and a half hours left until Taeyong and Mark were back; Taeyong had texted him that they had just landed. Doyoung knew he might regret staying up to welcome them home, but he had to see them. The fact that they were coming home was the only glue holding his cracked parts together.

_Are you still cold?_

Doyoung was starting to think he’d never feel warm again.

He’d never be _smooth_. Just cold and sharp.

_Just broken glass_

Every time he closed his eyes, a part of him was cracked. All he saw were images of _You’re next_ as whispers of _You taste nice_ plagued his dreams.

He startled when he felt someone wrap a warm blanket around him, looking to find the maknae.

“Hyuck, why aren’t you asleep,” he said when Haechan let out a yawn.

“Knew you’d be up, wanted to wait with you,” he mumbled lazily, snuggling up against the older boy.

Doyoung smiled down at him, hugging him close. They stayed like that for a while, nothing but the sound of traffic from below and their silent breathing could be heard.

“What are you two doing up?” Manager Minjun said as he walked into the living room, still dressed.

In fact, the older man even had shoes and a jacket on.

Something was off, Doyoung could feel it in the shallow way the man breathed, the panicky look on his face. The boy knew the maknae could tell too, by the way he tensed next to him.

Manager Minjun’s eyes were dark, looking at Doyoung from across the room.

“Did you ever solve the riddle?” the manager asked, moving towards the front door. He had a hand behind his back as if hiding something, but the boys on the couch couldn’t quite tell what it was.

Doyoung shivered, stomach churning. They hadn't told any of the staff about the riddle.

_How did he know about the riddle? Did the police tell him?_

“No,” Haechan said stiffly, remembering Jaemin’s words.

_Don't tell management._

For some reason, he felt on edge, his gut telling him to lie to the man. Haechan was sure Doyoung could probably smell his distrust of the manager.

“That’s a shame," the man clicked his tongue, pulling what was revealed to be a gun out from behind his back. The two boys froze, eyes wide.

All Doyoung could feel was ice at the sight of the weapon, sitting in front of Haechan, protectively shielding him while he made a noise of protest. 

_"Your time's up, bunny.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone hates cliff hangers, but this chapter was getting way too long so I decided to be mean....
> 
> Hope everyone liked it!


	6. November Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharp, cracked. It was all jagged.
> 
> Doyoung held Haechan close to him, grasping so tightly he feared his glass skin would break. His rough blood was boiling in an asperously shattering. He could feel the maknae trembling and he knew he had to be strong, at least until Haechan was safe.
> 
> Doyoung wouldn’t let his jagged edges splinter now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter was so hard to write, and a lot happens hehe.

Sharp, cracked. It was all jagged.

Doyoung held Haechan close to him, grasping so tightly he feared his glass skin would break. His _rough_ blood was boiling in an _asperously shattering_. He could feel the maknae trembling and he knew he had to be strong, at least until Haechan was safe.

Doyoung wouldn’t let his _jagged edges_ splinter now.

“Put the gun down,” Doyoung demanded, voice unstable but commanding.

Minjun just gave him an incredulous look, a bit stunned.

“You do realize I’m the one in control here, right _bunny_?”

Haechan gasped at the name and Doyoung held him tighter.

“I’m aware,” Doyoung all but spat out, “but Haechan isn’t your target, so don’t you _dare_ point that thing at him.”

Minjun smirked.

“I gotta admit, you have balls. Any other person would’ve broken down after the first incident, but here you are, ordering me around. Even after all those years you still act like a bratty idol.”

Doyoung didn’t miss the dark haze glossed over the manager’s eyes. The man’s hand trembled in anger.

“I should kill you now.”

“You can, just let Haechan go. He shouldn’t have to see it,” Doyoung managed out.

“No! Hyung, you can’t say that-”

Doyoung hushed the maknae, quavering hands coming to wipe a few stray tears off of his cheeks.

A sharp knock broke the momentary silence like tsunami, and all three men tensed. Minjun glared through the peephole, and when he relaxed, Doyoung’s stomach churned. The manager opened the door, revealing two other people dressed in all black, both armed. Doyoung let out a silent gasp at the familiar face of Sungmin.

“She’s waiting for you on the roof, boss.” The unknown man said. He had a black vest on, sleeves torn to reveal multiple tattoos, one Doyoung vaguely recognized and prayed was fake.

The tattooed man then looked at the two singers bundled together. “What about the kid?”

Minjun looked into Doyoung’s eyes, pupils dilating in sick satisfaction at the desperation he found.

“You two stay with him here, keep your weapons trained on him,” he smirked at Doyoung’s widened eyes, “and kill him if anything goes wrong,” he said with finality.

“No, don’t hurt him please! Hyuck!” Doyoung screamed as he was dragged away from the maknae, who was openly crying. Minjun took hold of the singer’s arm, his hand around Doyoung’s bicep painfully tight.

Minjun hit him with the butt of the gun, and Doyoung felt his head loll a bit to the left as he was roughly pulled out of the door and into the hallway. Through the blood painting pictures of crippled exhaustion, Doyoung watched as he was dragged away from his brother.

“HYUNG!”

The door closed, taking Doyoung’s glassy heart with it.

************

Jaehyun shot up, almost falling off the bed at the scream. Jungwoo’s tired eyes blinked at him from across the room as they looked around, noticing that Doyoung was not in there with them.

Jungwoo felt his heart stop as a loud cry that sounded a lot like Haechan pierced through the silence. They bolted out of the room, met by Johnny, Taeil and Yuta, looking in the same disoriented state as they did, all probably woken up by the same scream.

“Too bad we can’t kill you now, kid,” they heard a gruff voice speak, followed by a sob.

That was all they needed to hear for the world to crash.

“Jungwoo, go lock yourself in the bathroom and call the cops, now!” Johnny pushed the younger back in the direction of their rooms, thankful as Jungwoo (regretfully) sprinted to grab his phone as the other four rushed to the living room.

Donghyuck was on the floor, hands wrapped around himself as Sungmin and a man Jaehyun had never seen before held up guns to him.

“Get away from him!” Jaehyun heard Yuta scream as he ran over to the maknae, tackling Sungmin. The older was stronger than the boy and easily overpowered him, throwing Yuta to the carpet and putting a foot over the younger boy’s ribs. His face acquiring an expression of annoyance as he moved his gun to the boy on the ground.

Yuta just glared at him, fear absent but anger very, very present. 

“Anyone moves, and I’ll kill him,” Sungmin said simply, nonchalance driving a sickening rage through the members.

Jaehyun felt the anger crawling under his skin, itching with desire to act.

“What the hell are you doing?” Johnny sneered in Sungmin’s direction, fury the prominent emotion displayed in his eyes.

“What does it look like?” The manager answered, too calm for the situation. Jaehyun glanced around the room, fear blending into the anger he felt as he realized there was no sight of his hyung.

“Where is Doyoung?”

“Nowhere close to the land of the living, that’s for sure,” the tattooed guy laughed.

_No. nonononono. Doyoung isn’t gone._

The group sat in stunned silence as the intruders laughed at the change in their faces, even Yuta’s glare fading into fear, fear for his dongsaeng.

“You’re lying,” Taeil spoke, speech wavering. The tattooed man smirked.

“You ASSHOLES!” Jaehyun screamed, throwing himself at the tattooed guy. The man was unprepared for the attack as he fell to the floor, his gun firing at the ceiling.

Donghyuck and Taeil jumped at the sound.

It was in that moment that the chaos entered in the form of the unexpected.

Yuta, having noticed Sungmin’s surprised face, squirmed on the floor. The singer fought with a desperation he didn’t know he had as he sat up and aimed a strong kick at the older man’s shin.

Johnny ran to his aide, and eventually Sungmin was pushed off of Yuta. The two singers forcing him into compliance as they restrained him.

Haechan and Taeil rushed to help Jaehyun who was wrestling with tattooed guy. The man, having grasped control of his gun, rolled over to where he was on top of the younger boy, gun now trained on Jaehyun.

“Nobody move! You brats are pissing me off. I should kill this kid now,” The tattooed man seethed, gun digging into Jaehyun’s neck as the younger boy winced but never lost his glare.

“Now, let S-”

The man never finished his sentence as a loud _whack_ was heard, and suddenly his grip on Jaehyun loosened as he slumped to the floor.

Jaehyun sat up, rubbing his neck, before glancing up at Taeyong, a frazzled Mark behind him, as the leader held one of his suitcases up.

Through all the noise and chaos, they had failed to notice the door being opened.

There was no time to be relieved at their members’ return however, because soon the maknae jumped up.

“Hyung, the roof! They took Doyoung to the roof!”

Taeyong dropped the suitcase, dashing towards the stairs.

Sungmin struggled in Johnny and Yuta’s grip as Taeil helped Jaehyun stand.

“Stay here with them, Jae,” he said as he grabbed Jaehyun’s wrist, stopping the boy from going out in the hall.

“Doyoung-”

“Wouldn’t want you hurt,” Taeil finished. Jaehyun deflated but jumped up when Sungmin’s arm got free from Yuta’s grasp. He pulled his hyung out of the way before the hit could land on him and replaced his hold with an even stronger grip, causing the manager to wince. Yuta stayed by Jaehyun, hiding a little behind him but hands adding to the hold, effectively preventing the intruder from getting up.

Jungwoo came out of the bathroom, phone in hand, eyes taking in the scene. “The cops should be here soon, hyung,” he eventually said.

Johnny sagged in relief but never relented in his angered grasp on the perpetrator.

“Go, we have this one,” Jaehyun said as he gave Sungmin a mocking pat on the back.

“Taeil hyung, let’s go,” Haechan said, dragging Taeil and grabbing Jungwoo, taking them both out the door with him, Mark following closely behind.

“Hyuck, where are we going?” Jungwoo asked, never stopping his legs from running as the three dashed for the stairs.

“To save Doyoung hyung,” the maknae answered, determined.

Haechan remembered the way Doyoung shook in fear at the firearm but made sure to protect him. Doyoung had volunteered to take a bullet for him. There was no way Haechan was letting anything happen to him; no one was going to hurt his hyung again on his watch, or anyone else’s.

************

Doyoung couldn’t find the will to breathe. He knew he should, arm held tightly in the hands of Minjun, but he just couldn’t.

He was tired, so tired. All he felt was the rushing current of his blood crystalizing into glass, all he heard were the whispers.

_Are you still cold?_

He was. He was so, so cold.

“Why,” he choked out, panting at how fast they were jumping up the stairs.

“Remember the riddle?”

Doyoung nodded, even if the man couldn’t see.

“You had everything I ever wanted. I was supposed to be an actor, but the one role I could play was given to your brother. Then I finally get somewhere in SM and I’m babysitting the you.”

_An actor never rests._

Minjun had wanted to be an actor. Hell, he was an actor. He played them, played SM, played the police. He maintained the façade and proved to be as two faced as one could become.

“You were the one I was supposed to watch out for,” Doyoung said, “You were the actor and the coin, and you had a personal grudge against me.”

Minjun chuckled. “Yejun is truly an idiot. I was your biggest threat sure, but the one who really wants you dead you’re about to meet.”

After what seemed like forever, the manager pushed the rusty door, the cool, sickening air of November embracing the pair.

If Doyoung was cold before, he was in Antarctica now.

“You know,” Minjun huffed, “I’ve always hated you.” He looked on with satisfaction as he pushed the boy to the ground. Doyoung landed sprawled on the floor, energy depleted. The singer said nothing in response, instead moving to sit with his knees bundled to his chest.

The boy let himself be picked up and yanked to the corner of the roof furthest from the door. The building’s roof was large, Doyoung noticed, cringing at the sight of the door disappearing from view.

A smaller figure moved in front of him, dragging its steps. It tsked as it gazed upon him, and Doyoung felt himself being held up by Minjun’s strong arms.

The figure was a girl with long black hair and rose-colored cheeks. She had a mole under her nose and her figure was petite, but her eyes shook with all the madness in the world. It was those eyes, mad with a psychotic mirth, that held all trace of who she was.

_You taste nice, bunny._

Doyoung vaguely remembered Yejun mentioning a her, and now, gazing upon the supposed her, he knew.

“Heard you had a little visit with my _brother,_ bunny,” she said, pride in each move she made. She lifted a hand, fingernails dripping in mania, as she forcefully grabbed Doyoung’s chin, pulling him close.

“But I won’t be as nice,” she whispered, blood red lips leaving a hiss of lunacy.

Doyoung was terrified. All he wanted was to be warm, but instead here he was, colder than ever, waiting for his glassed canvas to be pulverized.

Taeyong was wrong. He wasn’t smooth. He wasn’t a clean, glass case.

He was just a cold, glass portrait, painted in ruin.

Yejun’s sister brought out her own gun, dark and glistening under the stars. It was then he saw it, saw it through the tendrils of derangement deep in her irises. The cracks, the splinters.

Doyoung noticed how her hand trembled with hate, and vaguely wondered if she could feel the cold too.

The unbalance in her stance proved him right.

He couldn’t help it, couldn’t contain the laugh of exhaustion the clawed its way up his throat.

The girl halted her movements, hand still on the trigger.

“What’s so funny, bunny?” She hissed, the ice pouring in tendrils off her tongue.

Doyoung could only shake his head in disbelief. The snow was so clear around her.

“You’re like me,” he finally spoke, watching as her gaze hardened, crying out when he was hit yet again with the gun.

“I’m nothing like you idiots, prancing around like you own everything!”

Doyoung laughed again. The cracks in his portrait close to completely shattering.

“Yes, you are. I can see the ice.”

She held the gun up to him again, but there was a new plea written in her book.

“You are just like me,” He whispered, “We’re just broken glass.”

He could see through her, see the shivered fragments that mirrored his own. He didn’t know her reasons and they definitely did not think the same considering she currently held a gun to his head, but the cold circled in clouds around her surged with a ferocity that he had only ever seen in himself.

They’re jagged edges traced the same line of imperfection.

“ _All I ever wanted was to be warm.”_

The girl froze, hands trembling on the gun. Long nails painted in suffering grasped at the trigger in an internal battle with calamity herself.

“Doyoung!”

Doyoung’s head whipped to the side, eyes widening in disbelief and horror as he saw a shadow crossing the roof.

The voice. Taeyong?

“Hyung! Stay back,” he shouted, struggling in Minjun’s grip.

“Yuna! Shoot him now!” The manager yelled, hold on Doyoung way past bruising.

Doyoung looked back towards her, noting the tears coming down. Her lips mouthing the words _I’m sorry._

Doyoung starred back at Taeyong’s form coming closer and smiled. His hyung came back. Doyoung didn’t care if he was being selfish for once, but he was glad he got to see Taeyong before his jagged edges were shattered completely.

“No, don’t do it, STOP!” Taeyong yelled, not near close enough.

Doyoung closed his eyes as she moved her finger to pull the trigger.

He waited with bated breath, but the pain and sound of the bullet leaving the gun never came. Doyoung opened his eyes just in time to see Yuna drop the weapon, hands trembling much like his own as she hunched in on herself.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She whispered in a mantra, words floating through Doyoung, “I can’t do it.”

“You were right.”

Doyoung stayed frozen on the ground, the world around him stopping for a moment. Taeyong had almost reached them, and, starring at his form rushing to him in slow motion, Doyoung’s breath caught in his throat. He had almost died; he’d almost been killed in front of Taeyong. His hyung almost witnessed his death.

Doyoung found it hard to breathe.

Too stunned to notice, Doyoung startled when Minjun lifted him up pulled out his own gun, bringing it to the side of his head, digging the barrel into his skull. “We plan this for two years, and you still won’t die,” the older man spat in a trail of annoyance.

No. He won’t die here, not with Taeyong watching.

Doyoung used all the strength he could muster and elbowed the man hard in the ribs. Minjun doubled over in pain as Doyoung pushed him, trying to reach for the gun still in his hand. Minjun pulled himself together to pull a well-aimed punch at Doyoung’s already hurt face, sending the boy backwards.

He pulled the gun out finally, wiping off the drool from his jaw.

“I said, your time was up, _bunny,_ ” he sneered.

A loud bang was heard, and Doyoung couldn’t breathe. All he could feel was the pain in his head.

************

Taeyong’s hands shook in anxiety and fear, but when he saw Doyoung tackle Minjun, he forced his legs to move. The man was ready to pull the trigger when Taeyong let out the anger he had pent up inside him and jumped on top of him, the bullet missing Doyoung’s head by just barely a few centimeters.

“You brat!” The man growled, hands curling in the leader’s jacket and throwing him over his head, the rapper’s back hitting the concrete. Taeyong cried out in pain, breath snatched from him. He saw the manager grab his gun from the floor as he straddled the younger, weight holding Taeyong down.

Just as he was about to aim, a kick came out of nowhere, effectively sending the weapon a good distance from Minjun. Taeyong let out a breath as the weight was removed and looked over to see Taeil and Jungwoo standing over him as cops rushed the scene.

Jungwoo had tears streaming down, almost knocking Taeyong back over with a hug.

“Doyoung! Calm down, we’re trying to help you,” Haechan and Mark were nearing Doyoung, but the older flinched as his hands came up to his head, whole body wracked with tremors as he tried to hide himself in the corner.

Taeyong winced as he stood, handing Jungwoo to Taeil. The leader slowly walked over to best friend, wrapping his arms around him as he ignored the flinch.

“It’s me, it’s Taeyong. It’s Yongie. I’ve got you,” he soothed, rubbing comforting circles in the boy’s cold skin.

Taeyong watched as the focus in Doyoung’s eyes returned, and the tears he’d been holding trickled slowly, clear as glass.

“I’m so tired, hyung,” He stuttered, voice fading as his eyes closed. There was blood on the side of his head, and Taeyong panicked. “No, don’t close your eyes, Doyoung!” He tapped Doyoung’s cheek, momentarily frowning at the chill of his skin. He maneuvered the younger to a more comfortable position in his lap, eyes raking over the bruises on his face.

The boy just snuggled deeper into the leader’s embrace. “s’ warm,” he hummed, oblivious to Taeyong’s attempts to keep him awake.

_“Goodnight.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to remind everyone that there is no major character death
> 
> Also, next time we'll finally get to figure out who the heck Yejun and his sister really are and how this whole thing was pulled off, because I know a lot of questions are still unanswered.
> 
> Thank you, as always, for reading!


	7. Gluing the Fragments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
> 
> Yejun smiled at the glassy reflection, mirror cracked and dusty but still seeable. He quickly glanced around the worn-down home. He really needed a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while because I wanted to give a decent backstory on Yuna and Yejun. But I finally got this chapter finished. 
> 
> Only one more to go!

_First Week of August._

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Yejun smiled at the glassy reflection, mirror cracked and dusty but still seeable. He quickly glanced around the worn-down home. He really needed a drink.

The world was cold, Yejun figured as he pranced the streets. The bottle of liquor swinging in his hands as he skipped over a puddle, humming to himself. Either way, a job was a job, and the rotting house he lived in with Yuna certainly was in need of quite a lot of repairs.

He sniffed out the dark figure that met him in the alley. It was always the same. Info for cash. Info for food. Info for… well anything. That was his job. Well, one of many.

It had been years since Yejun had more than one person in his beloved family. As soon as his father ran at Yuna with anger clouding the drunken persona, he grabbed her and ran as fast as he could, never looking back.

It’s been ten years since then, and hey, they were still living. The years had done a number on both of them, his youthful shine lost and was replaced with the dullness of age. Yuna grew into a fine woman, but Yejun could see the ice in her veins, blue with despair.

Yejun entered the small house, rubbing at the dragon tattoo covering his right arm. _The Dragon’s Shadow_ was Seoul’s largest gang, big enough to keep most of its impact a secret. The people knew who they were, but all they had heard were rumors.

Yejun was an independent information broker, but he was a member of the gang. He had quite a reputation, earning him free range in what he chose to do in the name of The Dragon’s Shadow. He only was given one condition: he was not allowed to share his gang’s secrets, which to him was a no brainer.

The air smelt foul, setting cold. Yejun widened his eyes a bit at the image of his sister with two unfamiliar men standing in the living room.

Yuna’s eyes held the same coldness they had sported since they ran.

“Well this is certainly interesting,” he smirked, curiosity burning with the alcohol he’d previously chugged.

_“I want to kill someone.”_

Yejun was not surprised in the least. His sister was something of a glass structure, always delicate around the edges. Recently, he could see the cracks and imperfections breaking. He knew it was his fault.

So, he did what any reasonable brother would do, at least in his mind.

“Who are we killing?”

************

Yuna knew she wanted someone famous, she wanted the world to feel the same ice she did. She never said this aloud, but Yejun could see the intentions. Years of bluffing and bargaining gifted him with a peculiarly keen sense of reason. Reading people was something he did every day at every minute; his sister was no exception.

The two men she had scouted were newer members of the gang, out for the same greed that graced a majority of the members. Yejun had to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes when he met them, though he had to admit that having two members with connections to a large entertainment company made things simpler. Plus, the bloodlust glint in the taller one, Minjun Yejun thinks his name was, would do them good in the future.

Possibly… Yejun wouldn’t be Yejun if he didn’t have his own internal doubts, though not that it bothered him. This plot was far too fun for the man, even if they failed, he’d still get a kick out of the action.

Picking their target was rather easy and came in the form of an unplanned pleasure. They were walking near a café, when they saw a group of three boys entering the coffee shop. One had a rather sharp look, pink hair styled neatly. The boy was very handsome, maybe intimidating, but the way he watched over the other two said otherwise. The other one was tall, muscular with a charming gleam in his eyes.

It was the one in the middle that caught his eye. At first glance, the boy looked like the average pretty boy, and he vaguely resembled a bunny. He had a charming face and a lean figure. Yejun looked closer and noticed how his eyes widened as he told a story, getting annoyed as the other two kept interrupting him. The bunny nagged at the other two, who, instead of looking annoyed, brightened.

The other’s missed the cold, covered by the other two boy’s warmth, but Yejun could see it. He saw the glass, much like the girl standing right next to him.

Yejun knew right then and there Yuna had found her target. Her eyes couldn’t see what he saw, but rather saw the warmth radiating in the light atmosphere.

She didn’t see the jagged edges piercing the boy’s skin, intersecting with her own.

In the months of preparation, Yejun gathered all the information he could on the bunny. Kim Dongyoung, goes by Doyoung. 24 years old.

His analysis was almost laughable. As soon as he’d seen the way Doyoung’s skin was splintering, Yejun knew this plan was doomed from the get-go. Doyoung paralleled Yuna in many ways, but there was a certain strength.

Yejun had seen it when he first layed eyes on the bunny. Kim Doyoung seemed weak, breakable.

But, just as glass holds with strong chemical bonds, Doyoung was glued together by the people he was surrounded with.

Kim Doyoung may be glass, may be easy to shatter, but he was anything but weak.

Though, he couldn’t say he was disappointed. Yuna was growing colder by the day, breaking more and more. Yejun wasn’t one to care openly, but the only person he loved he knew he would lose if they actually did manage to kill the boy.

Getting caught by police was the easiest thing.

Now he had to wait. It was up to a certain idol to thaw the ice.

It was always the same. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

************

_November 7 th, 2020._

Darkness.

That was all he saw. His feet dragged on for miles, cut soles echoing in grief, until he saw a mirror.

“Did you really think you’d hold?” The mirror asked.

Doyoung just watched as his reflection cracked into a million pieces.

“Young?”

“Wake?”

Doyoung opened his eyes, and the first thing he could see was light.

“Doyoung, are you awake? Can you hear me?” He turned his head slightly and found himself gazing into the very worried eyes of his older brother.

“Hyung?”

Gongmyung smiled warmly, hands coming to thread through Doyoung’s hair.

“Shh, don’t strain your voice, Doie.” Doyoung grimaced at how raspy his brother’s voice sounded, almost like he’d been crying. He blinked up at his hyung, suddenly aware of the redness of his eyes and tenseness of his face.

The flashbacks came to him at the speed of light, and his breathing picked up. A weight moved near his leg, and a warm, familiar voice filtered through.

“Doyoung, calm down. You’re _safe_.” Taeyong said, stroking the younger’s arm.

With his leader and brother in the hospital room, Doyoung was able to regain control of himself. He took in Taeyong’s tired face, weariness written in the eye bags he sported. The leader looked like he had just woken up from a nightmare.

“I tried to get him to go home with the rest of the members, but this idiot wouldn’t leave,” Gongmyung said, patting Taeyong on the back.

Taeyong scoffed playfully, interrupted by a yawn.

“Did you even sleep, hyung?”

Taeyong just rolled his eyes at the younger.

“I come back to see my best friend almost die after having been away for almost two months and he asks me if I slept?” Taeyong’s voice was bitter but his eyes remained soft, playful.

Doyoung felt warmth beginning to creep up, staving off the coldness of memory.

“You look like a zombie.”

Taeyong groaned. “You’re the one who wouldn’t let go of my hand in your sleep, not like I could leave anyway,” he mumbled, pouting as he crossed his arms.

“What?”

Taeyong looked up, and grinned. Doyoung’s face was a cute tint of red, eyes wide, and mouth ajar. The innocent look he often sported had Taeyong laughing fondly.

“Yep, cuddled my hand to death, like a baby.”

Doyoung was getting redder by the second, and Gongmyung laughed at his brother’s cuteness, cooing to the younger’s utter embarrassment.

Looking at them, Taeyong felt his eyes water. He almost lost this. He almost watched his best friend’s death. The thought alone stroke fear back into his already worn out heart.

Taeyong wasn’t even surprised when he started crying, though he did startle the two brothers.

“Yah, Kim Doyoung,” he sniffed, eyes wiping his tears, “Don’t ever do that again!”

Doyoung sat up, head slightly pounding. He shuffled over a bit, patting the small space he made for Taeyong to squeeze on the small hospital bed. Taeyong gladly obliged, laying close to the other, throwing his arms around him.

“Sorry, hyung, but it was kinda out of my control,” he said, no bite to his statement.

Taeyong cried even harder. “I know,” he whispered.

Gongmyung stood up from the chair he was in, stretching his back. He looked fondly at the pair and glanced at the dull clock hanging on the wall across from Doyoung’s hospital bed.

“I’ll be outside if you need me, mom and dad will be here soon,” he said, glancing at the pair cuddling on the small hospital bed.

“Mom and dad are coming?”

“Of course, they are, do you really think they’d not come after they’re son was almost _killed._ ” Gongmyung scoffed on his way out, shaking his head.

Doyoung watched him leave, leaning into the warmth he’d missed for so long. He could feel Taeyong’s concerned eyes on him, worry never leaving.

“I’m okay, hyung. You don’t have to worry so much.”

“Okay there are so many things wrong with that statement. Number one, you have a pretty bad concussion, so you are not fine.” Taeyong gave him an unimpressed stare, motioning to the bandage wrapped around Doyoung’s head.

“Number two, I,” The man tried to compose himself. “I was almost too late, Doyoung. I almost lost you,” Taeyong sniffled again, “I can’t not worry. How was I supposed to go on if they, if you- if-” The leader took a deep breath as he struggled to say the words.

“Doyoungie, I can’t lose you.”

Doyoung felt another piece of himself break, and his eyes betrayed him as he felt them water as he looked down. Taeyong noticed, because of course Taeyong noticed.

“Doie, talk to me, please.”

Doyoung shook his head.

“Doyoung,” Taeyong’s toned leaked of authority, “Something else has been going on. This whole situation is fucked up, but that’s not the only thing.”

Doyoung sighed. “Later, not right now.”

Taeyong made a pained noise but agreed. They stayed squished on the small hospital bed, Taeyong’s gaze never leaving the younger.

“Hyung?” Doyoung asked, voice tentative, “Do you think I’m weak?”

Taeyong shook his head adamantly. “I could never. You are the strongest person I know,” He said with finality.

“How?” Taeyong eyed the younger, and silently comforted him as crystal tears fell from his eyes.

_“If I’m so strong, why am I still so cold.”_

Taeyong hugged him, watching his eyes drift close. Doyoung’s energy was depleted, emotionally and physically. The leader shushed him, running fingers through his hair in a calming manner.

“Don’ wanna be broken glass anymore,” the younger mumbled, sleep calling his name. _“I’m sick of shattering.”_

Taeyong glanced up at that, eyes wide. Doyoung’s eyes were closed, and the younger looked peaceful despite the bruising on his face and neck.

Taeyong sat up, pulling the hospital sheets over Doyoung, tucking him in gently, warmly. Though he knew the younger was oblivious to the world, fast asleep, Taeyong felt that it needed to be said.

_“You have the warmest heart I know, Doyoung.”_

************

It had been a week before Doyoung found himself standing in the suffocating office of the police station, Taeyong and Johnny on either side of him.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Doyoung?”

Doyoung sucked in a breath and gave a small nod, Taeyong’s glance burning into his profile. He needed answers. And this time, he had Taeyong and Johnny with him. He may be cold, but warmth would be by his side.

Now, sitting across from the criminal behind bars, his hands didn’t quell their shaking at the foul aura wringing out of Yejun. The moment the man had seen him, the same unpleasant smile gave way, teeth shining with deranged chatters.

“Wow, I certainly didn’t expect to see you breathing bunny,” the man sneered, ice dripping from his words straight into Doyoung’s soul. Johnny stared daggers into the criminal. Yejun let out a loud laugh at the sight.

“No please, glare more. I love the hate, makes you more attractive, if I must say.” Yejun rolled his eyes at the two by Doyoung’s side as they stiffened.

“Now bunny, what can I do for you?”

Doyoung got through this once, he could get through this again.

“I want straight answers this time,” Doyoung said, trying to ignore the growing glee in Yejun’s face.

“Hmm, deal. On one condition.”

The three men stood, anticipation drawing circles in their breath.

“I want another taste of you, sweet bunny.”

Taeyong gripped Doyoung’s hand, gaze hardened on Yejun. “Hell no,” the leader seethed with petulance scrabbled in his tone, something Doyoung had yet to really hear from Taeyong.

“If you think we’re letting you within arm’s reach of him, you’re fucking delusional,” Johnny spat, arm clamping on Doyoung’s shoulder making the younger flinch. Johnny felt mildly guilty, hand relaxing.

“Kidding, kidding. All I want is for you to deliver a message to my sister. Though, I still would very much appreciate it if you could at least let me see that delicious side profile of yours-”

“I’ll deliver the message,” Doyoung quickly said before Yejun said something worse and Taeyong and Johnny lashed out.

“Perfect.”

************

Yuna eyed the boy sitting across from her. Doyoung was alone, having forced Taeyong and Johnny to let him talk to her without the other two. It took a little (a lot) of convincing, but here he was.

Vulnerable. Cold. _Glass._

“I talked to Yejun earlier,” Doyoung slowly said, voice small _._ Yuna gave no response but kept her focus on him to let him know she was listening.

“He wanted me to tell you something.”

“Did you mean it?” She asked suddenly. “About the glass.”

Doyoung was very glad he was alone.

“Yes,” He whispered.

“Even now, I’m shattering.”

She gave a look of understanding. Her eyes shining with something familiar. It wasn’t warmth, but it was something other than the darkness.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” Yuna said.

“Me too,” Doyoung responded, now relaxed. The playfulness came easily now. Yuna was just as vulnerable as he was and understood him more than anyone else could.

She smiled at that.

“What did that lunatic want you to tell me?”

Doyoung took in her cracked resolve.

“He said to tell you that he was sorry. For everything.”

She frowned at that. “My brother may be a crazy idiot, but he’s never hurt me. And he’s never sorry.”

“He thought you might say that,” Doyoung said, pausing to catch his breath. “Yejun knew you were cold. He’s sorry he couldn’t fix you.”

Yuna sighed, eyes watering. “It was never his burden to fix. He saved me.”

Doyoung thought back to what Yejun had told him of their past. He could hear the fondness in Yejun’s voice when he spoke of his sister.

“It isn’t, but you are his warmth. He doesn’t like seeing you cold.”

Then he stood up, leaving her to ponder his and Yejun’s words.

“You know,” Yuna spoke up. Doyoung paused, but never looked back. “When I chose you, I didn’t see the cold.”

He looked at the ground in front of him.

“I saw the warmth you gave to your friends.”

Doyoung finally looked at her. She was smiling, but her smile didn’t drip with ice. It was lighter.

“You may feel cold, but your glass is not the same as mine. I can see it in the way you act, how you walk.”

Doyoung looked at her as if she grew a second head. She laughed; a sharp sound similar to Yejun.

“I’m serious. I know you are struggling but put your faith in your friends. They are your family, just like my brother is mine.”

Doyoung nodded. “I’ll try.”

As he walked out, he heard her last words to him.

“Your glass isn’t weak.” 

************

_Present (Taeyong and Doyoung just came from the roof), December 2020._

Doyoung shivered as he followed Taeyong down from the roof.

_Put your faith in your friends._

“Hyung, I’m ready to talk.”


	8. December: The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As soon as he walked in, he was hit with a familiar scent. There was a singular candle lit on the coffee table in front of them, its sugary smell decorated with tints of Christmas. The atmosphere felt homespun and it was all so December that Doyoung couldn’t help but feel safe.
> 
> “Hyung!”
> 
> At Haechan’s shout, Jaehyun looked up from where he was sitting on the couch, arms folded under his chin almost like a prayer in relief. Doyoung felt immediate guilt. Yuta had Mark hostage next to him, but Mark looked, for once, content with the skin ship. Doyoung noticed how both had been tapping nervously on the table, stopping as soon as he entered their line of vision.
> 
> “Where were you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being supportive of this fic, I read all your comments and they make my day!
> 
> I know this chapter took a while, but I was struggling to find the way to end it. I think I've finally figured it out, so I hope you enjoy it!

As soon as he walked in, he was hit with a familiar scent. There was a singular candle lit on the coffee table in front of them, its sugary smell decorated with tints of Christmas. The atmosphere felt homespun and it was all so December that Doyoung couldn’t help but feel _safe._

“Hyung!”

At Haechan’s shout, Jaehyun looked up from where he was sitting on the couch, arms folded under his chin almost like a prayer in relief. Doyoung felt immediate guilt. Yuta had Mark hostage next to him, but Mark looked, for once, content with the skin ship. Doyoung noticed how both had been tapping nervously on the table, stopping as soon as he entered their line of vision.

“Where were you?”

Doyoung turned to see Johnny entering the living room with a coat and umbrella, Taeil not far behind and dressed much the same.

“Kim Doyoung!” Doyoung winced. “We looked everywhere for you! You should know better than to disappear like that!”

Jungwoo entered the living room after hearing Doyoung’s name. His eyes were filled with fear, a look Doyoung was beginning to really hate.

“Hyung,” Taeyong began, “I don’t think yelling is the way to solve this.”

Johnny ignored the leader, worry gnawing at his rational side.

“Do you even understand how worried we were?”

Understand?

Doyoung understood nothing but the past month’s fury and despair. He felt an unwanted and unanticipated anger bubbling through him, coloring his glass sculpture in tints of red. Doyoung wasn’t warm. No, he was boiling hot.

Glass tends to melt in heat of 1400 °C, though Doyoung figured his iced skin was now baking hotter than that.

It was burning hotter than he had ever allowed himself to feel.

“I understand very well,” Doyoung started, and suddenly it was as if the fire exploded and the crystal lines that held him captive began to deliquesce.

“Oh really, then by all means, enlighten the rest of us,” Johnny shouted back, “You never let us know anything, Doyoung!”

Doyoung had enough.

_Are you still cold?_

“Do you really want to know what’s inside my head, hyung? Do you really want to know how _cold_ I’ve been for the past year?”

_The glass was shattering, and Doyoung couldn’t stop._

“I saw that man hold a gun up to Haechan’s head. I can sometimes see Taeyong’s bruises on his back.”

_The glass was shattering, and Doyoung couldn’t-_

“I saw the look in Yuna’s eyes. I saw the ice deep down inside her. But worst of all, _I fucking understood it._ ”

_The glass was shattering, and Doyoung wouldn’t-_

“I’m weak! I’m too _cold_. All I ever wanted was to feel _warm,_ and this showed that I can’t. I’ll never be like you; _I’ll never be good enough to not feel like I’ve been living on the inside of a cooler!_ I can’t even remember the last time I felt my actual heartbeat rather than the coldness of my skin.”

_The glass was shattering, and Doyoung-_

“I’m shattering, hyung,” Doyoung knew he sounded hysterical at this point, “and I’m so tired.”

_The glass was shattering, and-_

He wrapped his arms around himself, voice beginning to give out. “I’m sick of being so cold. I’m not strong enough to be warm.”

_The glass was shattering, -_

“Sometimes, I wish I’d just-”

Doyoung’s breath caught. He had some form of self-awareness to stop. He couldn’t say it; didn’t want too. He knew the pain he would cause.

Doyoung didn’t deserve warmth, just as his members didn’t deserve the cold.

“You’d just what, hyung?” He heard a gentle voice poke through, vaguely recognizing Jaehyun’s deep tone.

He shouldn’t say it. He couldn’t do this to his group, his friends.

But Doyoung was tired.

Doyoung was just broken glass. 

_“I wish I could just never wake up.”_

**The glass was shattered _._**

It was quiet, it was cold. Doyoung’s body was wracked with constant shivers. His teeth chattering and his unsteady breathing the only sound parroting in the distant silence. Oh, how he wished he could stop his heart’s icy beating.

There was no warmth for him here.

Then he felt hands on him.

Echoes of _you taste nice bunny_ and _I’ve always hated you_ rose. Doyoung struggled to get away, to run far from the _we’re just broken glass_.

But the hands remained.

Doyoung was so, so tired. This was it, maybe. Yeah, that had to be. Doyoung took a deep breath. Might as well embrace the end.

It was then he noticed that the hands weren’t sharp. They weren’t rough. The hands were smooth, and best of all they were _warm._

The warmth brought _you’re strong, hyung_ , voice of sun filled with _not all glass is weak._

A distant fog of _you have the warmest heart I know_

_Your glass isn’t weak._

Doyoung remembered the way Yuna smiled at him, ice fading from her eyes the more she looked at him.

_Your glass isn’t weak._

Maybe Doyoung didn’t understand anything at all.

Just maybe.

_Are you still cold?_

“I’m still cold, hyung. I’m so cold.”

He didn’t realize the words left his mouth until he felt himself be pulled onto the fluffy couch, mind wandering back into the realm of reality. Regret immediately filled his stomach at the sight of everyone’s faces.

Johnny wasn’t looking at him, but Doyoung could see the apology written in the form of a tear strolling down his cheek. Everyone was sporting similar reactions, eyes all clouded with pain.

The hands had never left his shoulders as Jaehyun plopped down next to Doyoung.

“Why? Why didn’t you ever tell us,” he whispered, eyes searching for an answer.

“I was scared.”

Doyoung’s eyes filled with tears seeing the genuine concern and sadness surrounding him. The room felt below freezing with so much despair that he could smell it hovering around the group. After a particularly frazzled shiver, Taeyong ran out of the room, coming back with an armful of blankets.

“I knew it would hurt you all. You were all so warm, and I was just so cold.”

Once Johnny had shrouded Doyoung in a comical pile of blankets, he crouched in front of his dongsaeng.

“Doyoungie, I’m sorry I yelled. I just can’t stand the thought of losing you,” Johnny paused glancing at the others. “I don’t want to lose any of you. So please, come to us when you feel cold.”

Doyoung felt guilty, so guilty. His glass had shattered in front of all of them, discarded pieces littering the sofa.

“Doyoung,” Taeyong softly called his name, squeezing in between him and Jaehyun, “I know I’ve always said you were glass, and I meant it.”  
  


“Glass is delicate and breakable, but it holds a certain strength only it can possess. You are strong when things get tough, resilient when faced with rain or wind.”

Taeyong paused, taking a breath to let Doyoung gather his thoughts.

“At the hospital, you said you didn’t want to be broken glass. Doyoungie,” Doyoung looked straight into the leader’s eyes, “You aren’t broken. You may be a bit cracked, but we won’t let you break. You’re a precious person to all of us.”

_I know you are struggling but put your faith in your friends._

“Hyung, you were willing to take a bullet for me,” Haechan spoke up.

“You were terrified, but you still protected me. It takes someone with a lot of strength to do what you did for me.”

Haechan sent a watery smile at Doyoung, but the older boy could still catch a glimpse of the sun coloring the sad grin.

“You gave me warmth during one of your coldest moments, hyung.”

“And you were the one to comfort me when I was nervous, back when we were promoting Boss,” Jungwoo said, “You always helped me when I got scared.”

“You have always put us first, Doyoung. You always made sure we were safe and happy,” Taeil added, “let us help you now.”

The boy watched as the members all gave their own answers in agreement with Taeil. Doyoung put his head in his hands, crying freely for the first time in what felt like ages. The group surrounded him and watched as he finally let go, spilling all the imperfections and draining his glass cup free.

Johnny enveloped him in a hug, blankets providing nowhere near close enough the warmth as his hyung did. Taeyong began to pat his back in a gentle rhythm while the rest just watched Doyoung unfold, hearts breaking.

Finally, Johnny let go of the boy, Doyoung’s red eyes blinking back at him. Taeyong wiped the stray tears that fell while Yuta handed the boy a tissue.

“Doie,” Yuta said, hand massaging the younger’s neck. “You are glass. You are delicate and smooth, but I can guarantee you that you’re not as sharp edged as you think.”

“Everyone has their jagged edges,” Taeyong added, “yours don’t cause you to crack, they help sculpt you.”

Jaehyun smiled at Doyoung’s look of disbelief. “Hyung, don’t look so surprised,” he said. Doyoung just shook his head.

“I don’t understand. How do you not think I’m ugly? I’ve felt disgusting and cold for so long.”

Jaehyun saddened at the statement, but the softness of his features remained pleasant. He fiddled with the blankets, pulling them more so to cover Doyoung as if it would stop the devastating shivering.

“We’ve never thought of you as cold, hyung,” Mark finally spoke, “You are the warmest and most considerate person I know, and you’ve always been someone of comfort for me. You’re the hyung I can rely on when life gets tough.” 

“You- You mean that?” Doyoung couldn’t help but ask, eyeing each of them.

Mark gave a nod, grabbing the older boy’s hand and squeezing it.

Suddenly, the room didn’t feel as cold as it had before. It felt soft, nostalgic even. As he sat huddled around his family, Doyoung realized not only how much he cared for them, but how much they loved and cared for him. Johnny’s outburst was not only one out of fear of loss, but also out of the fear of never knowing the darkness plaguing the person he saw as his own brother’s mind.

Taeyong broke the momentary silence, bringing all the members together.

“Your jagged edges are what makes you so special, Doie. They paint you like a perfect glass case.”

The room felt like home.

“Please don’t ever think otherwise, hyung,” Jungwoo said as he let his head fall on Taeil’s shoulders.

“I’ll try,” Doyoung eventually whispered.

Doyoung felt loved. Safe.

“Okay, I don’t know about you all, but I’m starving and ready to stress eat,” Yuta said out of the blue, causing Doyoung to let out a small giggle.

Laughing felt nice. This felt nice.

“Ooh, hyung, can we get fried chicken?” Haechan asked excitedly.

“Can’t you at just eat something healthy?” Johnny said exasperatedly, shaking his head at the maknae.

“Can’t you just let me eat tasty food?” Haechan shot back.

“Fried chicken sounds kinda nice,” Doyoung piped up. Haechan jumped on top of the older, hugging him tightly.

“You heard him, hyung. Now go order fried chicken!”

They all laughed at Johnny’s annoyed face, eyes narrowing at the maknae tightly holding Doyoung.

“I swear you always get your way,” Johnny muttered as he went to go order the food. Doyoung smiled at his retreating back as he snuggled further into the blankets, leaning against Taeyong.

“Thanks,” he quietly whispered, watching as the members all began to disperse to do their own things before dinner. The dorm was beginning to buzz back to normal, and Doyoung felt a bit of the ice melt away with the giant weight that had inhabited his heart.

“Anytime hyung,” Jaehyun said from the other side of Taeyong, glad that Doyoung’s eyes seemed to have gained a little more life in them.

“Come to me anytime you need anything, Doie. Please don’t bottle it all up again,” Taeyong responded, wrapping an arm around Doyoung’s shoulder and pulling him closer. Then, noticing Jaehyun’s presence on the other side, he brought him close as well.

“You too, Jae. Anything, just talk to us.”

“Anything?”

Taeyong grimaced, as if he knew the direction this was going.

“Well, within moderation.”

“So does a laptop count?” Jaehyun asked innocently.

“You know hyung, I’ve been wanting a laptop, preferably a MacBook,” Doyoung decided to join in.

Jaehyun laughed. “Looks like hyung is buying us all laptops!”

Jungwoo glanced over at the remark, lips coming together to form a pout.

“Hyung still hasn’t bought me one.”

Taeyong groaned into Doyoung’s hair while the latter laughed at the misery implanted into his voice.

He felt warm. _He felt warm._ Doyoung wanted to shout it out so loud. He’d been cold for so long.

Doyoung looked at all of his members, his family. His jagged edges remained cracked, but his glass was being mended back together by the most beautiful glue of all.

He nudged Taeyong’s shoulder with a silent plea written on his face to get the others’ attention. The leader shushed the rest of the members as they all looked to where Doyoung was snuggled on the couch, cheeks red in embarrassment while he was swaddled in a multitude of blankets. Yuta smiled fondly at him while Taeil ruffled his hair.

Doyoung didn’t know how he didn’t realize it before. Somewhere deep down he figured he’d always known how precious they were to him, but for some reason he couldn’t believe that he could mean anything close to them than what they meant to him. But now he could see how they loved him.

It was clear as day.

He needed to tell them. To let them know what they symbolized, what they are for his cool glass.

“Thank you for being my warmth.”

If there was a dry eye in the dorm before, there wasn’t anymore.

************

Minjun sat in the cold of the small jail. The cell was creaky and old, metal of the bars cool against his skin. He heard a sound vibrating throughout the jail, turning to see the door to the room the cells were in open.

A familiar figure entered the room, light flooding in behind it.

“Choi Minjun. I thought you were better than this, yet here we are.”

He smirked at the woman in front of him, watching as she glared at him through the cell door. “Well, guess we were both wrong,” he replied, practically feeling the eye roll designated just for him.

“You’re lucky Boss got your ass free, though it was mostly thanks to me. He refused to let Yejun or Yuna out, though Yejun will probably get out on his own knowing him.”

Minjun scoffed. “Of course, he will. The guy might be a maniac, but he is a genius.”

The woman laughed, a sharp and unpleasant cackling ring shattering the dreadfully dull atmosphere.

“So, why’d you want to help me get out of here?” Minjun asked, suspicious.

“I think you already know the answer to that. Get your ass out of that cell and follow me before I leave you here to rot.”

Minjun raised an eyebrow, gesturing to the door.

“It’s unlocked dumbass.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Of course, it is.”

Following her into the cool night air, he was met with the familiar outline of Sungmin.

“Okay, what’s going on?”

The woman gave him a smirk, lips glittering devilishly in the moonlight.

“December,” She said in lieu of an answer.

Once they were in the car, she turned around to face the two former managers of NCT.

“Boss is a little disappointed in your failure. He’s giving you two till the end of March to finish what you started.”

Sungmin’s eyes widened in the darkness.

“You mean, he actually wants us to kill Kim Doyoung? For what purpose?”

The woman sighed. “As if I know,” she said, watching as the buildings faded into the fog from the car window.

“I’m not even sure if he actually wants him dead.”

Minjun gasped in disbelief. Their hunt for Kim Doyoung wasn’t done through business of the gang, but rather a personal feud using the name to accomplish. The Boss had nothing to do with it.

“Well than what is for certain, Kang Daeun?”

Daeun, in all her grace, ignored the tone of Minjun’s voice.

“Well, the one thing I do know is that _The_ _Dragon’s Shadow_ never fails, so you two idiots better come up with something once Boss debriefs you fools.”

What she failed to mention, Minjun thinks, is that _The Dragon’s Shadow_ also never gives second chances.

************

Doyoung woke with a start, heart pounding. He rubbed his head, blurry vision attempting to focus on the time displayed on his phone.

“Doie?”

Doyoung turned around to see Taeyong tiredly yawning.

The members had all brought in their pillows and duvets, placing them next to one another in the living room. Doyoung was glad they decided on a random slumber party, he wanted them close after today’s events.

“Sorry hyung, did I wake you?”

Taeyong shook his head.

“No, but why are you awake?” The leader asked as he motioned for Doyoung to lay by him.

Doyoung sighed, crawling to sit by Taeyong. The leader pulled him down to sleep next to him, piling the duvet to cover them both.

“Just thinking. It’s hard to just stop believing what I’ve been telling myself for a while.”

Taeyong nodded in understanding.

“I know,” he paused for another yawn, “but promise you will tell one of us whenever you feel cold, even if it’s only a little?”

“Promise.”

Taeyong gave a triumphant grin. “Good.”

“By the way, Doie,” the leader looked at him, playful glint carried out through the darkness of the night.

“You’re beautiful just the way you are, bunny and all.”

Doyoung could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

“Yah, what do you mean? I’m a prince not a bunny!”

Doyoung must’ve said that a little too loud because a second later he heard Yuta groan.

“For the love of all that is holy, please shut up and go to sleep,” the man said, voice decorated with sleep.

“But not before you acknowledge that you are a bunny,” Yuta added as an afterthought.

Haechan let out a loud laugh.

“Guess we’re not sleeping tonight.”

************  
  


When Doyoung woke next to Taeyong, he smiled. The warmth had settled in his heart, making it it’s new home. For once, Doyoung felt safe.

Sure, parts of him were still cracked, but everyone had their jagged edges. Doyoung is glass, cool to the touch, transparent but shiny like a crystal. His strength lies deep within, and he wouldn’t melt so easily under the flames of pressure.

Even if it was fleeting, Doyoung was happy.

He finally felt beautiful, his heart beating in a resurgence of strength.

Doyoung’s jagged edges would remain, but they would never hold him down now that he’s finally found his glue.

************

_Everyone has scratched surfaces just as everyone has hidden strengths. No person exists without flaws. We all deserve to be loved unconditionally, imperfections and all._

_Don’t dwell on your jagged edges, they are what makes you who you are today._

_And the you today is beautiful._

**_You are beautiful, don’t ever forget._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, there was a bit of a cliffhanger...
> 
> I'll make an official announcement once I write the first chapter, but there will be a sequel! I hope that you have enjoyed Jagged Edges and that you will look forward to part 2! 
> 
> In the meantime, feel free to check out my NCT/BTS crossover fic, Time was Her Illusion
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and never forget, your jagged edges will always be there, but they can't take away your beauty. You are worth so much more than what your imperfections beg you to see.


	9. Sequel Update!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SEQUELLLLL INFOOOO

So, the first chapter of the sequel is out.... It is called Crystal Hearts and will most likely be the last part of the series. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed Jagged Edges, and I hope you enjoy Crystal Hearts as well.

*************

Now, I want to discuss my other work (BTS X NCT) it is called Time was Her Illusion, and the way it is set up is in a series of arcs so that I can easily focus on developing multiple characters since there are like 28 of them lol...

The first chapter is kinda an establishing the universe, then the next three will be about Doyoung, then following will be the start of Jungkook's arc. All the arcs are connected and while they all focus on a certain character or characters they involve most of the cast and are critical to the plot.

*************

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first NCT fic, and I was mostly inspired by the lack of Doyoung-centric fics. Obviously, in no way do I wish for the boys to actually go through anything like this, and I hope they are happy and healthy. 
> 
> Hopefully you liked it, and see you next week! Feel free to leave a comment and ask questions!


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